30 Day Challenge- Day 30

What a great way to end my 30 Day Challenge. With the help of Cyrena (thank you!), I closed down my work computer around 6pm and sat on the couch for the duration of not one, but two movies. We ordered in pizza and spent the night catching up on two of my Netflix- No Reservations (cute, but not a must-see movie) and Running With Scissors (totally wacky and not highly recommended).

Because I haven't been eating so well lately and I haven't been sleeping so much, I arrived at the end of the week feeling very run down and blah. So setting aside the time to do nothing and watch movies was not only just what I needed, but a great way to end the week and end my 30 Day Challenge.

Starting September 1st I'm going to create another challenge for myself. I realized that it was very helpful for me to have some sort of a focus. And because I have so much travel coming up in the month of September (staffing the San Francisco 3-Day, going to a call center conference in Phoenix, heading back east to meet the baby), I think it's a great idea to have something to help make it more manageable for me.

For now, I'm going to bed and I plan to use the weekend to catch up on some well deserved and much needed rest and relaxation.

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30 Day Challenge- Day 29

Only one more day left of my 30 Day Challenge.

The best part of my day and the kindest thing I did for myself was to relax and let loose at the Speak Easy tonight. I met up with Jigga and we spent some time planning our trip to Ireland. It's the first time that I've sat down with the intention of doing some revisions to the original plan. And it felt really great- and fun. Although I'm obviously still disappointed about the marathon that I'm not running, I'm still very grateful and excited for my trip to Ireland.

A few people had urged me to just revise my plans and not give up entirely on the marathon idea. And what I've come up with is to run 26.2 miles while I'm in Ireland. Clearly this is SO not the same thing, but...it will force me back into running and to do a little bit each day while I'm roaming around the country that I love so much. Just the thought of running in Ireland makes me really happy.

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30 Day Challenge- Day 28

The one thing I realllllly wanted to do today was make it to the Farmer's Market, but it just wasn't in the cards. I had a ton of phone calls and I just couldn't make it happen. Which bummed me out a lot.

I'll have to settle for the best thing I did was go on a super short bike ride in between my apartment and Katie's. It reminded me of how much I truly enjoy riding my bike (for exercise) and how nice it is to be on my bike in the middle of a crazy workday.

Note to self- get to the Farmer's Market and get out on my bike!

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30 Day Challenge- Day 27

Even though today is the 4-year anniversary of my father's death and that typically means diving into pizza and Ben & Jerry's, I wanted to do something else good for myself.

I actually took the day off from work. I used a personal day and took some time to hang out just with Katie. Although we had different ways of how we wanted to spend the day, we had a really nice together. And I made a point to steal away and get a manicure and pedicure as a way of treating myself to something extra nice.

I ended the day with a nice train ride back up to LA which gave me some nice alone time to think about my Dad.

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Four Years Later

Today four years ago my father passed away. The memories of his last day still stay with me. I get now that regardless of how much time has passed, these are the memories that will never leave me or my sisters and mother. I’ve always felt like days like today are the ones that help force me to remember things I try to not think about all year long. Like what he looked like in the hospital bed. How my mom was ultimately put in the shitty situation to say no more. The way I freaked out being in his hospital room- each beep set me off into a ball of nerves and anxiety wondering what the hell was going wrong next. How much he looked like Nana Pearl. How brave my mom was in telling him to let go and that she’d be okay knowing she had me and my sisters to take care of her. How little we knew about what he was going through. How fucked up it was to literally watch him slip away and take his last breaths. How badly I wished Steve had been there. How happy I was for my sisters to have their significant others there. How unbelievably sad it was to walk out of the hospital with my dad’s belongings but without him. Unfortunately, there are endless memories that we experienced that day. And for today, I’m sad.

I’m sad that over the course of the past four years my dad has missed out on my wedding, Meghan’s wedding, one amazing granddaughter (and another grandchild expected any day now), a cross-country move from NYC to Santa Monica, job promotions and changes, all of our successes, the funny stories and jokes that made him laugh to the point of not being able to breathe, family holidays (which let’s face it, were always a little disastrous), endless in-law humor (can you believe he never met Kathy Fast?) and so many other little and big things in between.

I can’t believe that I can’t get him hooked on The Office, 30 Rock or Arrested Development. I hate that he can’t go to Ireland with us in October. I hate that I can’t call him up whenever I want (not that he’d answer the phone but…). I don’t think you ever get used to the fact that you can never ever see or talk to another person again. I know I certainly haven’t gotten used to that yet.

I feel an ache in my heart and a shortness of breath when I think of how short our time together was and how much I truly miss him.

I love you Dad.

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30 Day Challenge- Day 26

The trip to La Jolla continues. Katie’s working and Steve and Clancy are off gallivanting somewhere near the ocean I’m sure. The best thing I’m doing for myself today is to stop working at 6pm. I’m planning on shutting down my computer and going to meet up with a friend/co-worker for dinner and drinks with Katie & Steve. Tomorrow marks four years since my father passed away. In some ways it feels like much longer than that, and in some ways it seems like it was just yesterday.

For tomorrow, I just hope to make it through the day the best way I can- for me.

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30 Day Challenge- Day 25

While Clancy, Katie & Steve were off running around dog beach, I took the opportunity to sit on Katie’s beach chair and just sit still. I realized that it'd been a while since I had done that. I've spent a lot of time in the last week just going going going. And without being up at the Fast's for some planned R&R pool/oceanside, I have found myself doing a lot of work and not a lot of Molly time.
So the little snippet of time I did have today felt great.



And although I draped a towel over my head, I still managed to get a nice sunburn. :)

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30 Day Challenge- Day 24

Happy Birthday Steve!

Steve and I drove down to La Jolla today to spend the next few days with Katie. I had a stack of magazines that I’d like to make a serious dent in. So after driving around La Jolla for a little while and grabbing lunch, I sat down on the couch and caught up on a few of them. It’s been a nice and relaxing day without too much planned. And it’s been nice to just be out of Santa Monica for a few days and spend quality time with Katie & Steve.

It's Steve's birthday and so tonight we're heading out for dinner at a restaurant Steve picked- should be good (and pricy).

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30 Day Challenge- Day 23

I feel like Steve & I haven’t had too much time together and so when I thought about how I wanted to spend my time, I called Steve up and asked him to forgo his workout plans and come back home to hang out with me.  It doesn’t always work when I ask him that, so I was very happy when he agreed. We rarely watch TV together. Although I’d love love love to have some regular shows that we watch together (I associate this with part of being a normal couple, Steve totally disagrees), it’s just not Steve’s style So earlier this week when he said he’d check out Mad Men with me, I was ecstatic. Our plan for the night was to have a nice dinner together and watch episode 3 of season 1. It was a great way to wrap-up my week. Tomorrow we head out to La Jolla and I’m really exited.

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30 Day Challenge- Day 22

I had the best plan today to take care of myself- end the day with a nice and relaxing massage. Susannah and I booked appointments and planned on having a nice sushi dinner afterwards. Now…I don’t get massages often because it’s generally not a pleasant experience for me. The main reason is because I find the pressure a little too much and instead of speaking up and saying something about my massage-inflicted pain, I literally just lay there and tense up (which I’m certain the masseuse can surely feel). This doesn’t make for a very relaxing experience. But- I had high hopes for this massage and was really looking forward to it.

Unfortunately the massage was a total bust. I left feeling as if there were bruises over 90% of my body. The masseuse might have even yelled at me saying “You need to let me work with your body. I need you to try and relax.” Perfect opportunity for me to step in and say that I’d love to relax if she would just loosen her grip. But no, I sat through the planned 60-minute massage mostly in pain. By the time she stopped, I glanced at the clock and realized she’d stopped about 10 minutes earlier- for which I’m still grateful!

At least there was still sushi to look forward to.

Susannah and I got in the car and went to Noma for dinner. On the way there I started feeling nauseous. Whatever oil the used on Susannah during her massage completely made me ill. I dropped her and Steve off at the restaurant and went home.

Although the completely relaxing and restful evening was anything but, the intention was still there and in some way it as still nice.

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30 Day Challenge- Day 21

Although I really wasn’t feeling it…I grabbed my workout gear and headed over to the circle with Susannah to workout. We planned on doing the bootcamp workout and as soon as we got set-up, we sat and talked for a while. It was nice to catch-up. After we felt a little more motivated, we got up and did some of the planned workout. Regardless of the fact that I didn’t make it alllll the way through the workout, it was great to get outside, great to stick to the plan, great to see Susannah and great to get moving a little bit.

I’ve felt blah since hearing from Dr. Dan that I shouldn’t do the marathon. My friends and family continue to be super supportive about the whole thing, but at the end of the day, I still can’t help but feel tremendously disappointed. I know that it’s going to feel this way for a little while. But today, I feel crappy about it.

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30 Day Challenge- Day 20

The disappointment over not being able to run in the marathon continues to set in, but I'm trying so hard to only turn this into something good.

One amazing, but so not surprising, outcome of all of this has been the incredible support from my friends and family. It's just been really nice to continue to feel supported during this time of transition and questioning.

It's easy for me to be down on myself and beat myself up for all these things I could have and should have done, but I know there's no use in doing that. It's not going to change the outcome.

I'm hopeful that one thing that will come out of this is a long and serious look at how I'm trying to lose weight. As a direct result of the news I got yesterday I worked up the nerve to go to an Overeater's Anonymous meeting today at lunchtime. Just writing that out here where I know people I love and respect are reading is scary and in some ways embarrassing. But I've learned that the best way to get support is to bring people along on my journey so they truly understand what I'm doing and how I'm getting there.

I actually thought about going to a meeting a few weeks ago. I even forced myself to go and showed up only to find out that the meeting was incorrectly posted on the website. After I called OA HQ and the meeting facilitator (information also available on the website) to complain about the mishap and have the meeting taken off the website, I needed to work the courage to return. For real.

While I don't think my weight is the only reason I can't run the marathon, I do know it's a huge factor (no pun intended, seriously). And, as my mom said, maybe I need to tackle one thing before I tackle the other. So off to OA I went.

Initial thoughts on the meeting are mixed. But I'm not making any decisions until I attend at least six meetings- that was the advice of one person in today's meeting. My main hesitation is the whole religious factor. I really question my own religious beliefs and being involved with a program soooooo rooted in religion and higher power and God is somewhat of a turnoff for me. But on the other hand, being in a room with people who are non-judgemental and can talk so freely, openly and honestly about their real problems associated with food is so refreshing.

It's a big step I took today and one that makes me really proud. I'm excited to see where THIS one will take me.

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PS

From now on bookmark http://www.mollyfast.com for access to this site.

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Sad News

"You're too young to be trapped in a body you don't want."

I think out of everything Dr. Dan said to me today, that's what sticks out the most. Mainly because it applies to so many things- my weight, my unhappiness with my appearance, how much I feel like it holds me back from doing things I'd love to do (I've been dying to try surfing since I met Steve) and now because I've been advised to not run the marathon.

I had a follow-up appointment today at the podiatrist and it didn't go so well. My foot pain has come back pretty intensely and the plantar fasciitis has definitely not gotten better. This has been very disappointing because I've actually been wearing the boot and stretching out my foot as instructed. I've been swimming and biking and keeping up with the exercise and I've actually been eating relatively well.

So when I gave Dr. Dan the update on how I've been feeling, I then asked him what his professional opinion was on me running the marathon. He advised me against it and instead suggested that I get a new pair of orthotics saying that it was the only thing that was going to make my foot problems go away for good (as well as losing weight, which obviously isn't anything new). I can deal with the hole burning through my wallet for the extra orthotics, but having to give up the marathon is definitely disappointing.

I've had this idea going since November of 2006. I started getting back into running about a year and a half ago. It hasn't been an easy thing to do. I've been plagued with shin pain, foot pain, and what seems like one little setback after another. I've felt like if this was just an I'm overweight and running is hard for me, I could power through that. But there have been so many other little things that have gotten in the way of this being enjoyable and doable. So there is a part of me that's relieved. But an even larger part of me is just crushed that this is the outcome of a goal I set out to accomplish so long ago.

It's not the end that's for sure. It's the end for now, and I won't be crossing that finish line in Dublin on October 27th, but there's another path out there for me I guess.

I've gotten some great words of wisdom from people and a lot of support too. One person suggested instead of running 26 miles around Dublin, now I should drink 26 Guinness' around Dublin. That was a funny one. I've had a couple of people ask me about walking the marathon. And normally that'd be fine, because I certainly think it's still a good thing to do but...I've done the 3-Day- twice- and I feel like I've already proved to myself that I can walk an insane amount of miles (with little training). My point is, I've done the walking thing, I wanted to have a new challenge. Which is why the marathon was so enticing from the beginning. But walking the marathon isn't something I'm interested in.

Dr. Dan talked to me about my feet and how with the new orthotics he would totally work with me and hold my hand and get me to a better place in my body. We talked about running other marathons. He mentioned Vegas, I mentioned how much I hate it there. I mentioned the LA marathon and he mentioned how it's the world's most boring marathon. So the conversation pretty much stopped there. Besides, I'm not looking to jump right back into a marathon right now.

As I was walking out the office, Dr. Dan said "I'm sorry about your goals." To which I replied, "It's okay. I just need to readjust them, right?"

So today I get to be sad, but tomorrow I get to pick myself back up and come up with Plan B.

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30 Day Challenge- Day 19

Today was really hard to be kind to myself in light of the news that Dr. Dan shared with me. But the kindest thing I could do to myself was to just tread lightly and be nice to myself. It's easy for me to kick myself when I'm down so I concentrated hard on not doing that.

I also reached out to a handful of people who have been really instrumental in helping inspire and motivate me during this process to give them the sad news. Everyone's understanding and support has been really helpful.

Sorry Cyrena for literally crying in your face :) That was fun though wasn't it?

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30 Day Challenge- Day 18

I'm technically posting this on Monday because I took yesterday as a much needed and deserved computer-free day. It was a gorgeous day and we took a bunch of snacks and sandwich meat up to the Fasts for another day at the pool.

It was great to leave the computer behind for a day as I'm not sure what the week has in store for me. Whatever it is though, I'm game.

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30 Day Challenge- Day 17

I didn't push myself this morning. I woke up when I wanted to and before I knew it, it was 835am and I was just rolling out of bed. This is basically sleeping in for me these days. And it felt really great to just get up when my body was ready.

After rolling out of bed, I rolled up to the Fast's for some more pool/oceanside relaxtion. I took my computer with me, but it was still a relaxing night.

Then the next good thing I did for myself was when Katie & I biked to Noma (our new favorite sushi restaurant in Santa Monica) and met Steve for another enjoyable sushi dinner.

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30 Day Challenge- Day 16

Tonight I had a pool party up at Steve's parents and it was so much fun. The life that gets put into that place when they're not there is amazing.

I finished my workday up by the pool replying to emails and spending a little quiet time alone before the party got started.

It was so much fun to just kick back, enjoy the view, good friends and a nice warm swim. By the end of the night the stress of my week almost disappeared entirely.

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30 Day Challenge- Day 15

Today I was determined to not let work keep me inside for the entire day. I know it's completely in my control to get up out of my chair, open the door and walk outside...but I don't do it as often as I should.

I tried a new tactic today, which is usually what happens when I go to Trader Joe's, and went grocery shopping as close to 9am as possible. It helps me avoid the freaks and the terrible parking lot, but it also ensures I've got good food in the house to eat.

Before 10am I had already stocked up on some great groceries and I had been outside.

I was pretty happy with the day and was satisfied when at 730pm I planned on sitting on the couch with a movie. I did feel a twinge of guilt that I hadn't gotten a good workout in...but all that changed with a phone call from Susannah. Before I knew it I had showered and gotten on my bike with some Coldplay to keep me company as I took to the bike path and made my way to Venice.

It was such a fun time to be out on the bike path. It was only mildly scary when I let my mind wander to the wackos who could jump out of nowhere and have their way with me. But honestly, it was so refreshing and fun. The ocean looked so beautiful with the moonlight bouncing off of it. I normally stay far far away from the bike path, but tonight it was perfect.

I met up with Susannah for some Mediterranean food for dinner and then got back on my bike and made my way to Santa Monica. Instead of going the same way I had, I decided to extend the trip and go up a rather steep hill that landed me at the end of Ocean and Adelaide. The hill was difficult and I was dripping sweat by the end of it. But by the time I got home, I felt so fantastic!

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Update on the Running Sitch

I'm still not running. I was supposed to go to the podiatrist on Friday and that never happened so I'm stuck with an appointment now for Monday, August 18th. After my first appointment a few weeks ago and up until Thursday, my foot was seemingly fine. I wasn't feeling any pain or discomfort. I was staying off it per the podiatrist's instructions and relying on biking as my main form of cardio. I was feeling good that I would get the a-okay to get back into running- slowly. Then, almost out of nowhere, my left foot started giving me trouble again. The dull pain has returned and it's making me wonder what exactly IS going on with that crazy foot of mine.

It's been almost a month since my last run. I'm feeling anxious to start up again, certainly curious about what I'll be able to do. I think that's a good way to sum up how I'm feeling about my running, and also the marathon in general- I feel anxious and uncertain.

I hate feeling that way and I hate putting that out there in the universe, but I am almost two months away from the marathon and I'm currently running zero miles. When I do start back up with the running, I'll likely be starting off at very low mileage so I don't injure myself. What kind of training can I feasibly do to prepare myself for the marathon?

I certainly wish I was in better shape and that I didn't have this latest setback. I'll know more on Monday, but in the meantime, it's more biking, more boot camp, more stretching and more wearing the boot.

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30 Day Challenge- Day 14

About a month ago when my aunt Sue was in town, we had plans to have dinner and hang out. She was making dinner at Katie's apartment and I was looking forward to spending some quality time and getting a homemade meal. That was, until I got an invitation to go and see Coldplay at their LA show at the Forum and I found out the dinner was a vegetable tart.

Anyone who knows me knows that vegetable tart isn't something that really screams my name. I really do wish I was that type of person who had a palette that craved only healthy foods and gravitated towards grains and veggies and all things good for you. But alas I am not.

Well...imagine my surprise when I love love loved the veggie tart! It was a simple crust with bell peppers and onions and just a titch of parmesan cheese on top all baked in the oven and delicious. I had seconds. I forgot all about Coldlpay. It was love.

So today I finally tried to make it on my own. It started out wonderfully and the end result tasted great, but I had a little mishap in the middle when I transported the partially baked tart from a baking pan (while in the oven) to a pie tin. It made the whole thing fall apart and caused me to shake my head, roll my eyes and ask myself why I did that when I envisioned exactly what did happen before I attempted to relo the tart. So it didn't look as pretty as I had hoped, but it tasted just as great as I remembered.

And yes, of course I took a couple of pictures.


Preparing the peppers and onions before baking.


The slightly disheveled end product.

I know it looks not all that appealing but I swear it was good! After dinner with the girls, we went to see Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2. It was a great, easy, relaxing and super fun night with my best gals.

Good food and good friends- what a great mix!

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30 Day Challenge- Day 13

I'm find that I'm not doing as good of a job this week of taking care of myself and managing the work/stress factor as I was doing last week. I haven't been taking lunch breaks. I haven't been getting on my bike (except for the jaunt to the Speaks last night). I haven't been limiting work to normal hours. There's a lot of I haven't's this week and I need to curb that.

Today's good thing I did for myself also involved drinking and the Speak Easy again. Steve joined after Jeopardy (which he loves these days...and it cracks me up). We ordered Indian at the bar.

It was a fun and spontaneous night out in the middle of the week and honestly, I think we both needed the time to let loose a litle and kb (kick back) with a few beers at a great dive bar in Santa Monica.

The main reason why I went to the Speak Easy tonight is because my friend Spud who is the bartender there. I met him about two years ago when I first met and fell in love with the Speak Easy. Spud is very easy to like- he's friendly, fun, has a kickass Scottish accent and is just a genuinely wonderful down to earth guy. So earlier this year when he stopped working because of a rare form of cancer, I missed seeing him. Tonight was one of his rare appearances bartending at the Speaks and I knew I wanted to go and show my support of him.

His enthusiasm for life and his determination to not let a little thing like cancer keep him from truly enjoying everything and everyone he can out of his life is infectious and a good reminder (for all of us) that life is only what we make it.

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30 Day Challenge- Day 12

It's Monday and work is really f'n busy. What else is new, right? After the loooong day I hopped on my bike and went to my favorite bar, The Speak Easy, for a nice cold beer.

The good thing I did for myself? Biked over. Drank a beer. Hang with Jigga. Biked back home.

It helped take the edge off on a long day, even though I generally try not to take any edge off with alcohol. Not a pattern I want to get into regularly...but sometimes it's just what you need.

And it was just what I needed! It was the perfect way to end a long day.

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30 Day Challenge- Day 11

Guess what I did today? Went for a bike ride and then up to the Fast's for more swimming and relaxing.

I figured out that one of the reasons I enjoy biking (over running) is because I can bring my camera and take pictures of the cool things that I get to see.

Here are a bunch of pictures from today's bike ride that took us through Santa Monica, Venice, Marina del Rey and back. It was a gorgeous ride!







Katie, Susannah and I had a really nice ride (except for the whole almost fight thing that I won't go into detail about). It was one of those mornings where you feel grateful that your body can move and that you live in such a beautiful part of the country.

On the way back Katie and I stopped at the bike shop. I've been meaning to take care of a few things on my bike and thought this would be the perfect time. Over an hour later, and much much longer than I had planned, I had a new bike light (thanks to the ahole who stole mine), a holster (as I like to call it) for my bike lock, the seat could actually be moved without using a tool and the plastic thingy that was spinning aimlessly around my wheel with no purpose was removed. All was well in the land of my bike again and it felt nice to get that taken care of.

The rest of the afternoon was spent up at the Fasts pool/ocean side doing some work and mostly relaxing until it was time to head back down the hill for Susannah's ice cream social.

Another great thing I did was squeeze in a much needed and enjoyed mani/pedi/waxing appointment. Although it meant not being at the ice cream social right when it started, I so needed to do that for me and it felt great!

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30 Day Challenge- Day 10

Wow did I crash hard tonight! I've been putting in more hours over the weekend because of a slight backlog that I'm trying to help put a dent into. It's just past 9pm and I'm already in bed. Tonight the best thing I could do for myself was to "just say no" to going to the movies, to a bar, to staying out late...anything that didn't involve me alone in my bed being able to do whatever I wanted was off limits.

Although I'd love to be watching The Dark Knight or Man on Wire, or being a normal 29 year old and having an active social life outside of the apartment, I opted to simply stay in after dinner.

I am so happy to be in bed right now and although I have my computer keeping me company and I'm likely to do more work emails after this, I'm feeling super psyched to be all warm and cozy in my bed snuggling up to the computer and listening to Pandora.

What a week!

This morning I also did another nice thing for myself and my friend (Bad) Molly- I went to Harry's service over in Elysian Park. This is an area of LA that I've never been to before and although the reason for getting over there was sad, it was nice to explore. Take it easy Harry. You will be missed.

And yes, we made another trip up to the Fasts for more pool/ocean side relaxation. All in all, it's been a great Saturday, although moments of sadness (Harry) cropped up.

PS- Happy Three Year Anniversary Susannah. I'm so glad to have you out here and feel very grateful that you're willing to do so much with me and help me out. I don't know what I'd do without you in LA

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30 Day Challenge- Day 9

It's Friday- hoofreakinray! To reward myself for a long hard week, Susannah and I went up to the Fasts, again, for some hydrotherapy (I just learned that this week) and brought along CC as well. We had suuuuch a relaxing and wonderful time hanging by the pool, doing bootcamp, going swimming (the water was a cool 88*- seriously), eating a nice Italian meal and generally checking out and taking it easy.

I'm getting used to this going up to the pool bit. What ever will I do when Steve's parent's stop spending so much time on Ojai? Let's hope I don't have to find out the answer to that for quite some time!

What was great about going up tonight is that it was one of the first clear days that I can remember. We were rewarded with a great view of the ocean and Santa Monica.

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30 Day Challenge- Day 8

Yeesh, what a week! For the past five weeks, I've only had to work four days and I have been digging it- big time. So I knew that this week was going to be an adjustment because of having to work five days (nothing I can't get used to, obviously). But all the other things on top of that has made this one heck of a week. Today I went over to Katie Grant's house to "learn" how to be back on the phones again. I've been so far removed from the ins and outs of the phone job and starting next week I'm going to hop back on. So I had some serious catching up to do.

After the long day and the drive back home, all I wanted to do was sit on the couch and watch TV. Instead, I walked in the door, changed my clothes and decided to go for a bike ride. I've really been enjoying the bike rides. Part of me prefers them to running. I can certainly go faster and I cover much more territory. Plus I'm not struggling so much that I can actually enjoy the workout more. Anyway, it was about 7pm when I went for the ride and it was just another gorgeous day in Santa Monica.


Along Ocean Avenue

Nearing the end of Ocean Avenue

Down Montana

It's been a great reminder for me to get myself to move even when I don't want to. I feel so much better when I do and I'm rewarded with a great workout and a great mood when I'm done.

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30 Day Challenge- Day 7

Today was one of those days. As soon as I started my workday, I wasn't sure how I was going to make it to the end. I did have a great reward at the end of the day- Drag Queen Bingo...a fundraiser my friend and co-worker Paula & her husband have done for the past three years to raise money for their 3-Day walk. But by 10am, I was so tired I wanted to crawl back into bed. For the record, I didn't.

Anyway, after my marathon of conference calls and putting out fires and calling back unhappy people and solving unsolved mysteries and all that stuff, I needed a break.

But work was calling to me. There was (and still is) a ton of work to do. But I also knew that I needed to take a break. I needed to get in a cardio workout (bike ride) and I also could use some food.

I finally walked away from my computer and got on my bike and had a great hour long lunch that consisted of a beautiful bike ride up swanky Montana Avenue, around the Brentwood Country Mart, a lunch date with my lover and through the neighborhoods of Santa Monica I could only hope to live in one day...you know, when I print my own money and shit.

Anyway, the bike ride was fantastic. I pushed myself hard. The sun and fresh air felt wonderful. I came back to work feeling wonderfully refreshed (and sweaty) and ready to face the rest of the day.

A good lesson learned for myself which I seem to keep needing to learn a lot. Take. Time. For. Me.

The works is always going to be there and I'm always going to have more to do. I need to take care of myself and get up off my computer chair and out the door more frequently during the workday. I'm the only one in control of me and it's completely in my power to make sure that I put msyelf first.

I feel so much better when I do and not surprisingly, I'm even more productive (and happier) when I take that important time for me.

Here are some pictures from my ride.


I rode my bike to meet my lover at the Brentwood Country Mart- usually a good place for celeb sightings. Isn't he cute :)


Heading down Carlyle


One of my favorite houses in Santa Monica


Another one of my favorite houses in Santa Monica


Straight down at the end is the Ocean

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30 Day Challenge- Day 6

Besides the kick-ass dinner I made for me and Steve tonight, the best thing I did today was to do my boot camp routine...outside.

When I was getting ready for my own wedding, I did try out this boot camp regime specifically targeted towards brides. I was asked to test this out for MB and happily accepted the challenge. Before I knew it, I decided to fully commit by not only buying the book and following the routines, but by signing up for some person 1 on 1 sessions with the person who wrote the book and created this specific program. It didn't work out in the end- the woman totally flaked on me, would not be there for our appointments (over the phone) and after a while I had a hard time feeling like I could rely on her. So I stopped paying her money and after a while, I stopped following the routine in the book.

But here's the thing, I really enjoyed the workout. It kicked my ass, pushed me beyond the limits of where I felt like I could go physically and I felt and saw the benefits of the exercises pretty easily and quickly.

Although my personal experience with Boot camp 360 for Brides was completely unimpressive, it continues to be a great workout. I've been wanting to get back into this for a little while and finally picked up the book and got myself to do it this week.

Susannah and I went to the circle and set-up a mat, my iPod and portable speakers, a resistance band and some weights. We opened the book and just went to it. An hour went by very quickly and by the end of it, I could already feel my muscles getting a little sore- a feeling I love and don't feel too often these days. It certainly helped to have the company (thank you Susannah!) and being outdoors was fantastic. I've included a few shots of what I got to look at while we worked out below.

Coupled with the biking and the nutritious meals, I've been feeling great. It's helped me power through the workday so much better. I'm hopeful that this will be easy to keep up!


The palm trees we looked up at as we did a variety of exercises.


The circle where we did our workout.

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30 Day Challenge- Day 5

Before 730am today I already knew that this was going to be a crazy week. And I found myself not even being able to get excited about thoughts like "I wish it was Friday already." Friday might be the craziest day of my work week.

But the craziness is expected from time to time and certainly right now as we get ready to launch our event season.

I've been hyper aware of how this time affects me emotionally because of the memories of my father and his time in the hospital. As a result I've created this 30 Day Challenge (which I'm really digging). Well during the times where work is crazy busy, I recognize that I need to be just as diligent about taking my own time during the day.

Keeping in line with that, the best thing(s) I did for myself include:
1. Early morning airport run for Cyrena
2. Lunch date with a friend who has moved to NYC that I don't get to see often enough
3. Bake and deliver birthday cake to Junior
4. Make dinner for me and Steve-o.

I have a tendency during these crazy times to put my time and my commitments last. Although it's almost 10pm and I just really finished working for the day, I still had lots of moments for myself. It's nice to know that I've evolved somewhat in the past year or so and can take that time and not feel badly about it.

Oh and one more thing. At Trader Joe's last week, I threw this Kashi Go Lean Protein Shake mix in my cart on a whim. I have been meaning to try it for almost a week now and finally tried it today. I was very skeptical that it would be able to keep me full for very long or that it would taste all that good. And I'm happy to report that it was delish! It tasted like uncooked cake batter...you know if you're into that type of thing and it really did keep me full as if I had a complete meal.



I like and I recommend!

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30 Day Challenge- Day 4

While this shouldn't be groundbreaking news, it sort of is...I finally made dinner at home tonight and it was delicious. I was reminded of just how much I love making meals at home.





It was a great way to end a really nice weekend. Although I think the abrupt change to my unhealthy ways the past few months is taking its toll on my body, I'm really loving how much better I'm feeling by making some small changes. It's been a great reminder at how easy it is to take care of myself if I only put in the time and effort.

I'm about to fall asleep and my bed is calling my name!

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30 Day Challenge- Day 3

It's not even 10am and I've already done two great things for myself.

The first is that I finally got off my ass and did some physical activity. Although I was tired partway through the 10-mile bike ride with Katie, it felt and feels great to have gotten moving (I'm not certain that's correct grammar, but...). When I went to see the podiatrist last Friday, he said to do swimming and biking to keep up with the cardio and unfortunately the only "cardio" I've been getting in has involved putting food in my mouth or taking Clancy for a walk. But I knew the inactivity was going to have to come to an end sooner rather than later.

It was a great way to start off the day and before we circled back to the apartment for breakfast, we stopped at the Farmer's Market and I picked up some veggies for dinner tonight. See below.



My good friend Joanna(who is also a huge motivation for me in many areas of life, but most certainly her determination and physical abilities) is participating in a triathalon today. Joanna- I'm sending nothing but good thoughts your way and hope your day is going well.

I'm off to spend the day at a baby shower with another wonderful friend who is being blessed with twin girls!

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30 Day Challenge- Day 2

Only two days into the 30 Day Challenge and I'm really digging it. I love this idea of seeking out opportunities to take care of and be kind to myself. For the past month I've only worked four days a week and I love love love it. It's been great to have this Friday "free" day which I also try to use as a break from technology. I did a great job the first two Fridays, but since then I've cheated a bit by checking email on my blackberry (which I lovingly, refer to as my blueberry, which is what my father in law calls it- honestly). Still, it's not like I'm sitting at home on the computer all day putting in 8-12 hours of work. The days off have been such a great opportunity to recharge, hang out with family and friends who have been visiting, but most importantly a great opportunity to kick back and relax!

Today (really yesterday, because I'm typing this on Saturday) I took my boys (Steve & Clancy) and we went up to Steve's parent's house to take advantage of their pool and the fact that they're not there on the weekends.

Now, I know that I have plenty to say about my in-laws, but I will give them props when they deserve it. Being able to take advantage of their pool perched atop Pacific Palisades is amazing. And I feel like I'm on a little getaway when I do make it up there. The ocean view, on a clear day, is amazing and it's so quiet you forget you're in the middle of a major US city. Steve's parent's have been very gracious about letting us going up there and use their pool and so yesterday when my Steve got home from work, we took some magazines and went up to the pool with our only goal to spend time together and relax.

I feel grateful that we have this little getaway because it's almost impossible to not feel completely relaxed when you're there. I slathered on a combination of SPF 45 and then SPF 30 (when the 45 ran out) and swam, read, played with Clancy and checked out.

Here's how we spent our day:










It was so great that I went back up almost as soon as I got home. Susannah, Bethany and I ordered some pizza and went back up with some beers. The pool temperature is 86* which is not entirely cool enough to keep you feeling refreshed during the day when the sun is out, but let's face it, beggars can't be choosers! And the truth is that during the evening, it's amazing. You almost feel like you're in a hot tub :)

I couldn't have thought of a better way to spend my Friday night. I brought up my iPod speakers and some candles and we just listened to some music, got freaked out by owls (Leah- I was able to tell them about the owls are assholes t-shirt), ate some good pizza, drank some good beer, had a relaxing nighttime swim, read up on Ireland and got away from it all for a little bit.

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