Thursday, July 31, 2008

30 Day Challenge- Day 1

For the next 30 days I'm going to blog about at least one nice thing I did for myself each day. They may not be that interesting to some of you, but that's okay.

Today's nice thing is that I finally went shopping. For real grocery shopping for real food. It's sad to admit, but I don't even remember the last time I stocked my fridge and cabinets with food where I can actually create a meal.

But below are three shots of my cupboard, freezer and fridge stocked up with some of my favorites from Trader Joe's.







Obviously this extends to being able to eat better and feel better...which has a ton of other positive side effects that I'm really looking forward to.

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Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Memories

I'm recognizing that now more than ever I need to take care of myself. I'm getting right into that time of the year that always seems to depress me without fail. I think back to this time, now miraculously four years ago, and my thoughts automatically and without hesitation go to my father. Today four years ago was the last night we spent with my father before he was admitted to the hospital. He never came out of that hospital and my thoughts and memories are just as vivid as if it was last night. I remember how frail and weak he looked leaving the lame ass B&B. How much he struggled to come down the stairs. How oddly skinny and unshapely his legs where. How sad I was just looking at him. We had no idea what hell we were in for in that month ahead.

But today as I'm on the cusp of all those crazy and sad images and memories, I am not looking forward to the memories that will inevitably creep into my head and stay there. From what I've been through in the last three years around this time, I know those sad thoughts will sink down to my heart and just sit there, heavily weighing on me and forcing me to think about a time of my life that I'd just assume forget.

From now until the end of August is when I'm at my most emotional about the experience of losing my father. Because truthfully, this time four years ago was the worst time for me and my sisters and my mother. The unknown, the uncertainty, the medicals up and (mostly) downs, resulted in us walking out of the hospital without my father but with the belongings he brought in with him. Those memories don't leave me. I'm certain they never will. Just as the memory of walking into my family's house at 22 Winter Street without my father will always remain one of the saddest experiences in my lifetime.

So for the next month or so, I need to honor this time and this sadness. I'm going to try and do that by asking for help when I need it. By taking time for myself, time away from work, time away from other people. I'm going to try and do it by eating better, spending time outdoors and on my bike (and hopefully on foot soon). But most of all, I hope I do it by being kind to myself. I'm learning everyday what that means and how I can do it on a more consistent basis...but now's as good of a time to start as any, right?

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Saturday, July 26, 2008

"You have dainty feet!!!"

My podiatrist actually said that to me yesterday with total delight and maybe even a lot of surprise in his voice when I went to get checked out for all the problems I'm experiencing.

To recap:
right leg- shin pain
left leg- constant pain and limping when I step down and bear all my weight like a normal person when walking

I decided it was time to see the podiatrist to get a real evaluation as opposed to the fake one I got from my friend Hal over the phone from New Hampshire. I was hesitant only because I decided to get my orthotics from another doctor and didn't want to get any shi*t from my podiatrist. And my fears were totally confirmed when Dr. Noah told me that he hoped I hadn't paid a lot for them. (Side note, not surprisingly I did). Whatever. I'm moving on from this as there's nothing I can do now and I feel like they're perfectly fine orthotics.

So Dr. Noah took some x-rays, which is when he discovered the whole dainty feet issues and exclaimed that I could be a ballerina. "But ballerinas have really messed up feet." He also discovered that I do not have a stress fracture which is good, but said that I was definitely on the path to getting one.

What it does mean is that I have to take another 2-week break from running and walking and go back on August 8th to find out what my game plan is. In the meantime, I can go biking or swimming. And since I'm not totally psyched to go to a public swimming pool, it looks like I have a lot of biking in my future to keep up the cardio.

I've thought a lot about this setback and I'm not letting it get in my way of fulfilling this dream. I have always known that this path would not be easy. But I am also a very very firm believer that things worth getting (and going after) aren't meant to be easy. If it was easy, it wouldn't be as worth it.

I also believe that completing this marathon is so much about mental strength and I've got a lot of that. My life experiences, all the shitty ones too, have made me the strong person that I am and I proudly carry those struggles and trying times with me...and they'll be what carries me through all 26.2 miles. I don't know how much of this marathon I'll be running, or walking, but I do know that I will be crossing that finish like in just three short months!

I may not know today how I'm going to get there while I'm sidelined from the activity I need to do on race day- I just know that I will be there. And I can't wait to write that blog post and share just how great it felt to raise my arms in the air and step over the finish line!

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Thursday, July 24, 2008

Rest

After tomorrow, it'll be a week since my last run. My foot is not feeling great. When I put my weight on my left foot, it hurts. Hal diagnosed me with a stress fracture over the phone, but I know that I need to really find out what's going on. And on top of that, almost everyone has urged me to go and see my real podiatrist to get a "real diagnosis" and possible an x-ray. So tomorrow morning I'm going back to the podiatrist to see what's actually going on.

It'll be nice to find out what is happening and get some direction on what I should be doing versus what I think I should be doing based on what my friends at Wikipedia tell me. :)

I'm trying to not get too disappointed. I know there's a few lessons to learn here (don't increase your mileage more than 10% for starters), but I'm still feeling bummed out.

At least in a few hours I'll know more of what's going on. In the meantime, it's more time in the boot, more arnica, more rest and more anti-inflammatory meds.

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Saturday, July 19, 2008

Assessing the Damage

Saturday was mostly a rest day for me. I mean I was on my feet- I kinda have to be just to move around and stuff- but I wasn't running, which I wasn't scheduled to do (until today). But I also didn't do my cross-training. I haven't actually been that good about the cross-training although I am using my bike more, which is good.

My foot has gotten worse. It hurts to put a lot of pressure on it, which means even when I'm walking I'm feeling some sort of pain. The other great thing is that I'm limping a bit, so I look like an idiot. Okay, maybe not an idiot, but at times, I can't walk all that well either.

Tomorrow's 9-mile run is up in the air and that makes me feel awful. Especially how proud and accomplished I felt after last week's 8-mile run (which interestingly enough, may be the cause for the stress fracture) and how important I feel it is to stay on track with my training.

So for now, I'm just taking it easy, hanging out with Amy, Katie & Steve and we'll just see what tomorrow brings me

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Friday, July 18, 2008

All About Amy!

Amy's in town and I'm soooo excited for her visit.


(ps- this picture was taken during a photo session where we would make up pretend scenarios and then make an associated face. this was "pretend you're saying goodbye and won't see each other for a long time).

We always have a blast together and I miss living with her, living near her, hanging out on a more regular basis, blah blah blah. The list goes on really.

Last week Amy said that she'd do the Dublin Marathon with me. I know at first I was all "I don't want anyone to do this with me. It needs to be my own thing." But my tune has changed. Mainly because I know I'm going to need all the support I can get. And having company for 26.2 miles is an amazing gift. And with all the trouble Amy & I get into, I can't even begin to imagine what will happen to us along 26.2 miles of Dublin.

So today we went for a run. 35-minute workout of 3 min run/2 min walk 7x. As with most things Amy & I do together, it was fun, which really isn't that surprising. While I was running with her, I realized how lucky and fortunate I am to have her be willing to do the marathon with me. Hoo f'n ray.

My shins were feeling mostly okay. I have been icing and wearing the boot on a more regular basis. But my left foot hasn't gotten any better and may in fact be getting worse. It feels worse when I put any sort of pressure on it. And when I'm wearing my sneakers or have anything on the top of my foot, it feels like maybe the shoe I'm wearing is too small. But that's not the case.

I called Hal to talk with him about it and he mentioned that it may be a stress fracture. This would suck for a lot of reasons, but one of them being that the only thing you can do to make a stress fracture better is to totally rest. Some sources (all online, of course) say three weeks. Some say three months (absolutely not happening). Regardless, I'm just going to take it easy and see how I do. I haven't decided yet if I'm going to not do the 9-mile run Amy & I are scheduled for on Sunday.

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Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Blah

Tonight Susannah and I went for a 42-minute run and I definitely was feeling very blah. I feel like lately I've been having a lot of doubts while I run. Like if running for "only 42-minutes" is difficult, how am I going to be able to keep it up for 26.2 miles? I really do try and push those doubts out of my mind, since I know they do no good, but the doubts do creep in.

It's always nice to stop working for the day and get outside and run by the ocean and in lovely Santa Monica. Our route took us past the promenade and then along Ocean Avenue while we did a big loop and ended up back at Katie's apt. Today's workout was 4 run/2 walk x 7. It was hard. Even if the route was beautiful, it was just a hard run. My body is feeling really blah. I am not taking care of myself in a nutritious way and I know that's not making any of my running easier. In fact, I know it's making it more difficult.

On top of me just feeling generally blah during my runs, my plantar fasciitis is still not totally better (might help if I actually wear the boot on a consistent basis) and I'm starting to feel some slight shin pain in my right shin. And (yes, sigh, and) I'm feeling a weird pain on the top of my left foot.

Advil.
Icing.
Boot.
Here I come!

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Monday, July 14, 2008

The Day After the 8-miler

Getting in and out of bed really wasn't that fun last night or today as my body is really tired, achy and my feet are insanely sore from the workout. My hard bottom orthotics are really doing a number on my feet. And the lame ass $2.50 flip flops from Old Navy certainly aren't doing anything in terms of support. So today on my lunch break I picked up a pair of Birkenstocks.

It's summer and it's hot out and I've gotta wear something flip flop like...but it's clear I need all the support I can get. And Crocs just don't cut it. So Birkenstocks it is. I haven't worn Birks since...high school maybe. But they are supportive (and you can see my star tattoo perfectly, and I hate to admit it, but that's always a plus).

Day after my longest workout to date and I'm really sore and achy and my feet are killing me- have I mentioned that enough already? But I still feel great about the workout and the fact that I actually did it and I'm actually looking forward to tomorrow's workout.

But for now, I'm going to stretch.

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Sunday, July 13, 2008

8-mile workout!

Yep, that's right...I managed to get in an 8-mile workout today. And I'm now sitting on the couch wondering when Steve will be home so he can fetch me something from the bedroom. It's not so much that I'm sore, it's that my feet just plain hurt. My orthotics have been great in terms of ensuring I no longer have shin pain, and a variety of other ailments, but they are made with a hard surface and that's definitely not helping with the plantar fasciitis issue. Which really just means I need to go back to wearing the boot on a daily basis and doing the other exercises and stretches to make it easier to walk.

Anyway, back to the run. I got about a two hour later start than I had anticipated. But I had a great workout, and most importantly, I covered the entire distance. As mentioned in an earlier post when I knew I had to get for real serious about the training, I purchased a run/walk program where my workouts are delivered to my inbox each day. And from what I've read about all marathon training programs, the key is the long run on weekends. Although it's not ideal, you can skip an occasional workout during the week, but it's not advised to cheat on the long runs. So although I wanted to crawl during the last mile, I still covered all 8 miles. Which is huge!

I had a great route picked out that took me up the shops of Montana Ave, around the Brentwood Country Club (and past the Brentwood Farmer's Market), down San Vicente, along the street where the famed Santa Monica Steps are, to Ocean Avenue, back up Wilshire and across Lincoln to home.

It was a warm day and sunscreen really would have been a good idea. Water probably would have been great too. Unfortunately Steve and I had a plan for him to meet me at about mile 5 1/2 but we missed each other. I still am unsure exactly how that happened but whatever :) But what this really meant was that I didn't get my personal water or snack station, not to mention cheerleader/bike support. At mile 7 this would have been really handy since I barely had enough energy to keep going...but I did...barely.

The route was really great. A nice mix of inclines and declines. And probably the highlight of the whole thing (besides that I actually did it) was that I am 98% sure that John Krasinski (Jim from The Office) blew by me on a bike. That almost made up for my husband not blowing by me on a bike with water and some sort of fuel for me. Seriously, Steve was biking with Clancy, there's no way I could have missed him. And yet I did.

I had a great playlist of songs that alternated between 3 minutes (running) and 2 minutes (walking) so I didn't have to look at my watch and that worked out really well...again. In fact, I need to find more songs 2 minutes in length. So if you're reading this and you have iTunes, look in your library, see if you have songs that around 1:58 to 2:02 in length. If the answer is yes, pop them onto a CD and send me a copy. Please. While you're at it, drop some songs that are 3 minutes in length too. Yes, seriously.

As I was running, I had some serious doubts, and everytime I felt them creeping in, I just started talking to myself. Saying things like "You're doing a great job Molly. You're going to be successful and you're going to complete this run." I had just read something in Fitness or SELF about how just hearing and saying positive words like that helped. All I know for sure is that it helped me just focus less on the negative and more on the idea that I'd actually finish the run. Which I'd like to say again, I did.

Anyway, when it was obvious that my husband and I missed each other, my thoughts were preoccupied with "how am I going to finish this without passing out from not having anything to eat or drink yet today?" I stopped during my walking breaks to take warm water from the drinking fountains along Ocean Avenue and then after my last spurt of running in my last mile, I dragged my sweaty schlepy self into Panera. One look at me and the nice lady who saved my life behind the counter handed me a real cup for water. It was hands down the best cup of water I've ever had. (I wonder how many times I'll declare that during the rest of my training?)

I finished the last mile mostly walking and then got home only to be locked out because Steve still wasn't back from not finding me. About 10 minutes or so after I got home and attempted to stretch a little but, Steve and Clancy showed up, sufficiently tired and collapsed on the floor and couch of the apartment respectively. It was as if the fact that I myself had just done an 8-mile workout was lost and irrelevant to both of them. Oh my boys, I love them- thankfully!

My body was tired during the run, but overall, it was a good workout. More than anything, I was and am so proud of myself for getting out there and doing it. Next week's 9-mile run will be done with Amy who's visiting from Milan by way of New Hampshire. She is going to run the marathon with me. Which makes me very very happy.

So one real week of training down and after a day of rest, I'm back at it on Tuesday with a 42-minute working. I'm ready!

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Thursday, July 10, 2008

45-minute workout

Although my run was at times a little painful (my lower back was killing me), it was still one of those nights where I loved my workout and being outside and living in Santa Monica.

Tonight I did a 45-minute run walk with 3 minutes of running and 2 minutes of walking with 5 minutes of warm up and 5 minutes of cool down. For the most part, the run went well. I cruised through the neighborhood I live in and really enjoyed the route.

One of the things I hate about doing a run/walk routine is that I have to constantly look at my watch to see how much time I have left before I need to start running or walking again. This messes me up both mentally and physically but I do it anyway. The other day when Susannah and I ran, I used the timer function on my watch for the first time and that was a great revelation...until we realized that it was beeping every 30 f'n seconds. I don't need that!

So today my brilliance led me to create a playlist of songs that were 3 minutes and 2 minutes in length. I switched back and forth between the two different song lengths for as many intervals as I needed to run (9) and then sandwiched that between the 5 minutes of warm up and cool down. It was so great and I loved loved loved not having to concentrate on anything other than what's the next song coming up to suprise me?

Tomorrow I have another running workout, which will be my 4th workout this week. Then I have another day of cross training on Saturday (along with Cyrena's super fun birthday party) and then Sunday's my big day- an 8-mile run. Holy crap! After today's workout though, and seeing that I covered about 3 1/2 miles, I feel okay about Sunday's run.

As an aside, I really dig running in the evenings. It's a good time for me.

PS- Tonight I sat one table over from Paul Lieberstein who plays Toby on The Office.

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Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Oh Gilad

My friend Leah told me about Gilad at the beginning of the year. And since then, I've had four different workouts by Gilad stuck on my Tivo. They've been recorded and sitting there, staring at me everytime I turn on the TV and look through my recorded programs.

Up until tonight, I've never done anything with them.

I decided to do the workout "Buttocks, Chest, Triceps & Abs." The pros are that it was only a 30-minute recording, including commercial breaks, and there seemed to be a nice variety of exercises. And Leah told me about it. The cons were...just one, it was really hard! The ab exercises, I couldn't hold the movements for the full time. Although as hard as it was, I was equally excited about feeling my muscles being used and tested.

So I think Molly & Gilad will be spending more time together and they're both hoping that with time it gets easier.

Thanks Leah!

So that was my 30 minutes of cross training for the day. Not quite 30 minutes, but it felt great.

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Tuesday, July 8, 2008

42 min run/walk workout

Tonight Susannah and I did a 42-minute run/walk workout through lovely Santa Monica. We have to do this same workout routine four more times in July, so I anticipate that we'll be doing this course regularly. It's a nice balance of a steady incline and a steady decline and goes through some of the prettier parts of Santa Monica. But we're going to have a chance to do a lot of exploring over the next few months as we'll be covering a lot of territory.

The workout was definitely better than the one I did last Tuesday. Which is funny considering I ran a minute longer each time and did something like 8 min. more of activity. I'll take it. Obviously having Susannah do the workout with me certainly helped.

Tomorrow's workout is 30 minutes of cross training and Susannah and I are seriously considering joining the Y to do some swimming. While I may not like me being in a swimsuit, I really do love swimming.

We'll see!

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Sunday, July 6, 2008

Mr. & Mrs. Cook

Yesterday I had the absolute pleasure of attending the wedding of two very very close friends of mine and Steve's. And I can't even put into words how absolutely moved I was by the whole event. I've known Carrie since 1999 and Jonathan since 2002, and the growth they have both made as individuals, but also as a couple is inspiring and touching beyond words.

I was, and am still, so moved by their ceremony, the words they had for each other at the reception, as well as the speeches from others that I can't think about it without tearing up.

The connection and intensity of their love is something I feel so grateful to have witnessed.

Congratulations Mr. & Mrs. Cook!



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