Night Running

I love running at night because when you live in a place like Los Angeles, it's almost impossible to feel alone. Of course you can feel lonely in a big city like LA, but feeling alone...almost impossible. Running at night also happens to remind me of when I lived in New Hampshire and I was completely into running and did it without thinking and with complete ease and could go outside after 10pm and run four miles like it was nothing.

I've been missing New Hampshire a lot lately. I saw a picture of our old house and it made me sad.



So tonight when I was out running a mile, I saw almost no one, the night air was chilly and for just a second I could close my eyes and I could have sworn I was back in New Hampshire.

Running report- 1 mile in 12:15. Breathing was definitely winded and difficult. Felt stiff and lethargic. But I did it and after 10pm at night!

As a total aside, I went to see Enchanted tonight and it was a really good movie. I know I know, yes it's a kids movie, but it was good and made me smile the entire time. Judge me if you want, but see for yourself!

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Humor in Muffins

I don't know why this cracks me up as much as it does, but sometimes living with another person (especially a man) is so...funny.

Who would do this?



My husband, that's who.

I loved waking up this morning and getting a glass of water to see one muffin left in the container but three empty muffin wrappers or whatever you call them. I just smiled and grabbed my camera knowing I had to capture this moment (and write about it later).

On the feet side of things, I'm still having some discomfort, but I continue to use the boot thingy and stretch things out. I'm eager to see exactly how much this helps me in three weeks.

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Another 2-miler

I got right back out there today...and I have to say that I had no shin pain at all! I've already used my contraption twice and is it really possible to see a change so quickly? I'm just going to go with it and pray that it continues to improve!

The first 1/2 mile felt really great. I was able to keep up a pretty good pace for the first 1 1/2 miles but I definitely slowed down and got super sluggish in the last 1/2 mile there back up Montana Ave.

My mom was in town visiting for Thanksgiving and we had a great visit. For the first time in as long as I can remember I was able to tell her very honestly about my relationship with food and not feel like she was judging me or missing my point entirely. It was interesting hearing her talk about food- how she was being bad because she was eating bad foods, how it was alright for her to eat a certain way because she was on vacation, how the South Beach Diet really works for her...More than anything though, I really appreciated the opportunity to have an open and honest conversation with her about what I'm doing and why and to walk away from it feeling like she does finally get it.

Success.

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Phew...

Isn't she pretty? This is the contraption that I was lucky enough to take home from my podiarist appointment today. The good news is I don't have to stop training, I just need to take it easy and do as Dr. Dan says. Which is to wear this boot 10 minutes a day on each foot. "Anything more than that is a waste of time."

I have to say, Dr. Dan Altchuler is fantastic and was everything I hoped for in a podiatrist- friendly, fun, personable, informative and most important, assuring, supportive, kind and helpful.

He told me all sorts of things about the way I walk and the mechanics of my feet, ankles, shins, etc. Of course I don't remember all of it, but basically he confirmed what I believed to be the case. That I have shin splints and plantar fasciitis and need to stretch. He really and truly believes that if I use the boot as I am supposed to, that in three weeks I should see a significant difference and that I may not need orthotics. So I'm back on December 21st.

Honestly though, I am loving this guy. He was so excited to hear that I'm running the marathon and said he'll help me with the training and can put me in touch with some good trainers.

Tomorrow I'll get back in the game with another run.

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Taking a Time Out

For me one of the most difficult things has been to listen to my body. This is a running theme in my life that not only rings true with food, but is also presenting itself in exercise as well.

Today I listened to my body, however, and ended up skipping the two-mile run I was supposed to complete. I hate the idea of being off track on my training schedule. I fear that if I miss just one run, it will throw me off and create this continuous cycle of missing workouts.

Training for the marathon and just getting my head in the game all together hasn't necessarily been easy. Last Saturday I went to see my nutritionist who gave me a well deserved kick in the pants and reminded me that I need to not only show up, but I need to do the work.

Now that I've gotten the weight thing "under control" I felt ready to examine other aspects of my life, specifically finances. The truth is I'm just not as good with money as I had thought, and was just ignoring another issue in my life. When I did start to pay attention though, I realized that I've been spending more money than I take in. I also felt like since I was doing okay without seeing my nutritionist or therapist on a regular basis, that I could just schedule a session with each of them only once a month. When I brought this up with both of them, neither were thrilled with the idea and let me know that they felt it wasn't the best use of my time or money, or quite frankly, their time. It could be frustrating only seeing each other once a month. And after seeing my nutritionist last week, and hearing her echo basically the same thing, I knew that I had to make a choice.

The good news for me, is that I chose to recommit. I'm going to move forward with seeing my nutritionist on a regular basis so that I can begin to really see results, to have some accountability (cause let's face it, that can only help matters in the end) and to set goals and move forward with those whole thing. I chose to work with my nutritionist over my therapist because I feel like we can get to both the emotional and nutritional aspects of my relationship with food and it's more in line with the work I want to focus on right now.

You know how sometimes you just really need that dose of reality? Well I needed it, and I'm very grateful that I have surrounded myself with the type of people who can and will be honest with me...and to give myself some credit, I'm happy that I'm willing to hear it and do something about it.

I know that I've been showing up and doing and saying all the right things for a while, but when push comes to shove, I haven't made a significant amount of progress in losing weight. And one of the biggest things I'm going to work with my nutritionist on during next Friday's appointment is to set some clear goals and get this party really started.

Back to the point about my body though...it was hard for me to listen to it today. But I did. I listened because I know in the end that's the best thing I can do for myself. Typing this up, I'm wondering why it's so hard for me to do that when it comes to my body in regards to food. Something for me to think about for sure.

Anyway, it's been a good week. I'm really looking forward to my podiatrist appointment tomorrow. I need to figure out what the f is going on with my feet. It hurts when I'm on them too long. It hurts when I first get up after sitting for a while. My right shin is starting to give me some problems. I know I sound like a mess, but the truth is, it's really not that bad. I just need to address these issues ASAP so I can go go go.

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Plantar what?

For the past few weeks when I've gotten out of bed in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and when I first wake up in the morning, it's been difficult to walk. The first few steps are especially painful. It almost feels like my feet are bruised. Only they're not.

So of course I googled my symptoms and found out that it's likely I have plantar fasciitis. I panicked when I first read about plantar fasciitis because it said that it can take six to 18 months for it to fully heal. And we all know that my marathon is less than 18 months away.

I called Hal right away and told him what I thought and read about on the internet. He recommended icing my feet, taking Advil, stretching and going to see a podiatrist. So I'm on track with all of that and most importantly, have an appointment to see a podiatrist that my friend Nikee recommended (through people she knows in the ironwoman world). That's set for November 26th. I'm looking forward to getting some professional advice and possible some orthotics as well- whatever it takes to properly and safely train for the marathon.

In good news, I've been sticking to my running program and have so far logged six miles in five runs.

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2 Miles- Boo Yeah!

First of all, how fun is it to say boo yeah? One of my favorites...I cannot tell a lie.

Secondly and really most importantly, I completed my first two mile run today. The good news is I finished all of it and didn't walk at all! I mapped out my route last night and basically ran a straight shot all the way down to the ocean. The route had a slight decline for a lot of it, but what I want to focus on is that I finished and I didn't stop at all.

My breathing felt pretty good today. I'm not overly concerned about my pace right now. I figure why worry about too many things right now? For me, all I want is to complete the required mileage. I have a week between my next two mile run and I'm already looking forward to it. That's a great sign, right?

The schedule is feeling good but I have to be honest and say that my stupid shins are feeling a little touchy at the beginning and after my runs. I came home today and put ice on them right away. I'll take some Advil tonight and I'll continue to do both of those things. I have two days off until my next run (only a mile). Wait...did I just write only a mile? Ha. Anyway, I was saying, I'm on it. I'm taking care of myself the best what that I can without stopping running all together. I really don't want to have to stop running because of stupid shin splints, so I will monitor this closely and do what I can to try and ward these things off.

Tomorrow I'm going down to see the 3-Day in San Diego. It'll be the first (and only and last) event I see this year and I'm really anxious to see some of my co-workers and to see the event. It always inspires and moves me to see so many people putting themselves through such a difficult physical challenge all to make life easier for people who have been personally touched by (breast) cancer. It's always a good wake-up call to see how easy we have it.

A few random things I wanted to comment on:
1. I'm sick of running in cotton t-shirts. I'm officially on the hunt for some good running shirts made out of material that is light and helps my body stay cool.
2. I'm still looking for some good music recommendations. Let me rephrase that- I'm always looking for good music recommendations for working out. So keep the suggestions coming!
3. I've been doing really well lately with the eating aspect of all of this. I'm feeling great about where I am with that and continue to take it day by day.
4. I definitely feel like I've been losing weight. Some of my pants are getting looser on me which is a great feeling.

And I'm out.

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It's Official!

Holy crap! I registered for the 2008 Dublin Marathon!!! I might be registered as a blind person in a wheelchair, but whatever, I'm registered.

I cried when I registered for the marathon and followed it up with a few emails to friends and family. Especially to my mom and sisters letting them know it was time to get their tickets since I registered.

It's such an exciting time. I get daunted and at times easily discouraged and anxious by the road ahead...but in the end, the feeling I get when I imagine myself crossing that finish line makes it all worth it.

I'm so proud of myself for making it official.

Dublin...here I come!

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What Does a Picture Tell us Anyway?

Here's the thing...I started this blog as a way to chart my progress, to help me keep on track with my goals of running the marathon AND being more aware of the food choices I make and quite frankly to keep me honest. I never said it would be fun. I've admitted to eating a ton of crap in the same day- McDonald's, Panda Express (that damn orange chicken gets me everytime), pizza, etc.- and to other bad habits that I have when it comes to eating.

This picture is an example of something that's not necessarily fun for me. I wouldn't say I look my greatest. But it's me. And I love myself for getting out there and running that race when I knew I wasn't going to be able to run all 3.1 miles of my first road race since 1999. And I love myself for being brave enough to write all about this. I love myself for making really hard decisions to pay attention to what I eat why I eat it and when I eat it. I know I'm taking a really long and slow route to having an eventual better relationship with food and ultimately myself. But I do firmly believe that I will be so much better for it in the end. And, since this is ultimately about me running a marathon next October in Dublin, I love myself for believing in myself enough to just say fuck it and go for it. Screw the bad image I have of myself. Stop talking badly about myself. Stop imagining all these awful scenarios about how my weight dictates who I am and what others think of me. Just be.

So who cares about the unflattering aspects of this picture. Besides that's the not so nice part of me talking. When I see this picture, I see someone who is deteremined to create a better life for herself. I see someone who is committed to being healthy and happy for herself. When I look at this picture, I see someone who isn't giving up. I see someone who is trying so hard to leave the negative thoughts and feelings behind and to charge toward a kind dialogue with herself.

And finally. I see someone who is resolved to cross the finish line at the Dublin Marathon on October 27th, 2007.

What do you see?

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Plugging along

I'm still on track with my training (I've done three 1-mile runs) and I'm feeling good. I have a two miler coming up this week, which I'm certainly curious about. My shins were giving me some problems. I could feel the slightest bit of pain and decided to get replace my sneakers a few weeks ahead of schedule.

After watching the NOVA marathon challenge, I don't want to take any chances. So new sneakers and a hieghtened sense of touch and I'm off.

I love structure. I love to do lists. I love when other people tell me what to do. I love directions. I love for things to be laid out perfecly clearly. So when I asked Hal to put together my marathon training for the year, I was perfectly happy to get the schedule regardless of what it said.

Well, I did ward off some anxiety before I event got the training schedule from Hal by telling him not to start me off with two mile runs.

Anyway, so I'm following the plan and I'm feeling great!

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NOVA Marathon Challenge

I just got done watching this special which aired on PBS called NOVA Marathon Challenge. Basically they found 13 "normal people" and put them through a nine month training program for the Boston Marathon. The hour-long special follows these exceptional people through their entire training process and the actual marathon they ran in this past year. I found it to be incredibly inspirational and moving. I love watching this kind of stuff.

I sat through the show with butterflies in my stomach in anticipation of my own journey to run the Dublin Marathon. At times I was crying too because I found it to be so real and it filled me with anxiety, excitement and inspiration. I have doubted myself so much because of my weight and it has led me to think really sad and horrible thoughts about myself. Training for this has already been such a healthy exercise in patience and kindness to and for myself. And I'm looking forward to increasing the mileage and decreasing the doubt, fear and anxiety I have allowed to take over my life since I became overweight. I'm so much more than just the extra weight I carry around.

I know I can do this marathon. I know at face value there are a few things working aagainst me, but it's nothing I can't (and won't) overcome. If anything, watching this special gave me even more ammunition towards my journey because I know I'm capable of doing the marathon and seeing this through to next October 27th, 2008 in Dublin!

I can't wait to cross that finish line.

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Just Another Saturday

A couple of things I observed on my run today:
1. I need to work on my breathing. I feel like endurance wise I could probably keep running a little farther, I am just usually so winded that I need to stop to literally catch by breath.
2. I need a running watch. I had one and couldn't find it for this run or the one on Thursday either. I came home just now after my run to let Steve know I was going to Lucy to see if they had a running watch. I have three gift cards for Lucy that I should begin putting to use. Even though I knew it was a long shot, I asked Steve if he happened to see my watch. It was then that he confessed that he had taken my watch and put it with Clancy's food. I mean cause that makes all the sense in the world right? I can't believe I didn't think to look there!
3 It's time for a new pair of sneakers. I know the signs and my body's telling me it's time. So rather than get the dreaded shin splints my body is oh so good at getting, I'm going to go and get a new pair of sneakers tomorrow.

Today's run wasn't that bad. I'm trying to find some new music to run to as my current playlist is getting too old. So even though I posted this a few times ago and only one person responded (thanks Audrey!), please leave a comment with a song or 10 that really help you move.

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First Run- Check

So I went out yesterday afternoon for my first official training run for the marathon and it was fine, perfectly fine. It wasn't easy and it was hard to keep the negative thoughts at bay (you only have to do this for 25.1 more miles, you're hurting after just one mile, how exactly do you plan on keeping this up to run a marathon?). But I settled for reminding myself that it has to start somewhere and completing one mile is perfect.

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Still Waiting for Registration to Open

Here's the response I received from marathon organizers regarding opening registration for the 2008 race:

Molly Hi

We will have entry for 2008 at the end of November

We are changing sponsor so it will take some time to sort out get things finalized.

Regards

Carol

Waiting patiently...

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