Back to Life...Back to Reality

Now that I'm back in the real world, I've been pleasantly surprised to see just how easy it's been to ease back into things. The first week back at work went so much better then I had anticipated. It's not as if I thought things would fall apart in my absence, I just know how busy things have been and fully expected there to be a lot on my plate when I finally made it back from my three week trip. So what a pleasant surprise to come back and find that I didn't have an intense and stressful workload to welcome me back.

I love my co-workers and completely appreciate how hard they all worked and how much slack they picked up so that I didn't turn into a crazy lunatic upon my arrival back at work.

I also found that I really did a great job of taking care of myself and trying to maintain a personal balance. Clancy and I started off our days going for a walk, doing a set of the stairs, trying a little bit of running. I came home, made myself breakfast, actually sat down at the table to eat and read a magazine and then took a shower, put on normal people clothing and then started work.

For some of you this may seem crazy that I'm pointing out such a normal routine- you know, things like showering and wearing clean clothing. But when you work from home, it's so easy to roll out of bed and plant your ass at your desk and work from the wee hours of the morning well into the late night hours. Sometimes you work only in pajamas, or you may graduate to sweat pants and a t-shirt. Maybe you'll lose track of when the last time was you took a shower. These are the glamorous realities of someone who works from home.

While I was on vacation, it was great to get up, take a shower and make myself look presentable before going out into the real world. It was a great way to start the day and I realized that I needed to make that simple change upon coming home.

Last week I found that I felt so much better when I started work at a normal hour AFTER doing some things for myself. I loved being outside first thing in the morning. I loved starting the day with a nice, healthy meal. It was just really nice and something I'm hopeful I'll continue.

This week I'm in San Diego for work and I'm actively trying to build some Molly time into this trip. I've had a whirlwind of a month and after last Saturday, I'm happy to see all the birthday celebrations come to an end and allow life to resume back to normal as much as possible.

All in all, it feels good to be home. I'm still doing a good job of being mindful of how I spend my time and I'm feeling the benefits of how that affects me mentally and physically. And I like how it feels.

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Taking a Time Out

For me one of the most difficult things has been to listen to my body. This is a running theme in my life that not only rings true with food, but is also presenting itself in exercise as well.

Today I listened to my body, however, and ended up skipping the two-mile run I was supposed to complete. I hate the idea of being off track on my training schedule. I fear that if I miss just one run, it will throw me off and create this continuous cycle of missing workouts.

Training for the marathon and just getting my head in the game all together hasn't necessarily been easy. Last Saturday I went to see my nutritionist who gave me a well deserved kick in the pants and reminded me that I need to not only show up, but I need to do the work.

Now that I've gotten the weight thing "under control" I felt ready to examine other aspects of my life, specifically finances. The truth is I'm just not as good with money as I had thought, and was just ignoring another issue in my life. When I did start to pay attention though, I realized that I've been spending more money than I take in. I also felt like since I was doing okay without seeing my nutritionist or therapist on a regular basis, that I could just schedule a session with each of them only once a month. When I brought this up with both of them, neither were thrilled with the idea and let me know that they felt it wasn't the best use of my time or money, or quite frankly, their time. It could be frustrating only seeing each other once a month. And after seeing my nutritionist last week, and hearing her echo basically the same thing, I knew that I had to make a choice.

The good news for me, is that I chose to recommit. I'm going to move forward with seeing my nutritionist on a regular basis so that I can begin to really see results, to have some accountability (cause let's face it, that can only help matters in the end) and to set goals and move forward with those whole thing. I chose to work with my nutritionist over my therapist because I feel like we can get to both the emotional and nutritional aspects of my relationship with food and it's more in line with the work I want to focus on right now.

You know how sometimes you just really need that dose of reality? Well I needed it, and I'm very grateful that I have surrounded myself with the type of people who can and will be honest with me...and to give myself some credit, I'm happy that I'm willing to hear it and do something about it.

I know that I've been showing up and doing and saying all the right things for a while, but when push comes to shove, I haven't made a significant amount of progress in losing weight. And one of the biggest things I'm going to work with my nutritionist on during next Friday's appointment is to set some clear goals and get this party really started.

Back to the point about my body though...it was hard for me to listen to it today. But I did. I listened because I know in the end that's the best thing I can do for myself. Typing this up, I'm wondering why it's so hard for me to do that when it comes to my body in regards to food. Something for me to think about for sure.

Anyway, it's been a good week. I'm really looking forward to my podiatrist appointment tomorrow. I need to figure out what the f is going on with my feet. It hurts when I'm on them too long. It hurts when I first get up after sitting for a while. My right shin is starting to give me some problems. I know I sound like a mess, but the truth is, it's really not that bad. I just need to address these issues ASAP so I can go go go.

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