Monday, October 18, 2010

My Latest "Thing"

I've been bored with The Game for quite some time. I feel like it's lost its appeal to me. But my weight loss journey is far from over. So instead of waiting it out, dragging my feet and hating The Game, I knew I needed to find something else.

My latest thing is a six-week online retreat from Geneen Roth. I think I first found out about the online retreat because Geneen was interviewed on Oprah talking about her latest book "Women, Food and God." And she tied this online retreat into learnings from the book.

What seems like a million years ago at this point, but was really probably just a few years ago, I read one or two of Geneen's books. I liked them and have always appreciated that she struggled for many years with her weight. She understand compulsive eating and the feeling of "having tried it all" in weight loss attempts. She's done way more wacky stuff to lose weight than I ever have.

I actually signed up for the retreat (which you can do at your own pace) in the middle of July. But I decided to play another round of The Game and finally made the decision to stop playing for a while and focus on this as my next attempt to understand my relationship with food.

On Saturday I took some time for me, found a quiet place, opened up my new red moleskin notebook, cracked the spine, pulled out my blue pen and pressed play on my iPhone. For over two hours I listened, paused, wrote things down furiously, went back to listen to it again to make sure I had translated it properly from my head onto the pages of my fresh start notebook, thought, listened, zoned out, wrote some more and at the end of the first session, I was feeling energized and excited.

The first session was really laying the foundation and expectations for the next five weeks. And each session ends with a practice and an action step. Here are some of the things that stuck out the most for me:

Women, Food and God. Part 1- Ending your War with Food
1. Most of the time we spend from our necks up and yet most of our anguish about compulsive eating has to do with our judgments from the neck down.
2. We don't change from force, shame, deprivation, guilt, fear judgment or self-hatred. People don't change because they hate themselves into changing.
3. The way I eat reflects my deepest beliefs about the way I live.
4. Food isn't the only way to express the beliefs I have about abundance, worth, etc.
5. My relationship with food is a language I need to learn how to speak.
6. Compulsive eating is a way to change the channel when I don't like what's going on.
7. Must have a willingness to tolerate discomfort to get to the life I want to live. I'm already uncomfortable, so it's being willing to be uncomfortable in a way that let's me life a better, happier life.
8. Insight alone does not lead to change- our actions are what really make a difference.
9. When you turn to food when you're not hungry, you're hungry for something, but not food. Need to be curious to figure out what it is.

At the end of the class we were left with a practice- Everyday notice what I already have. What's the abundance in my life?- and an action step- Eat only when I'm hungry. I do it to the best of my ability and focus on not beating myself up if I don't do it perfectly.

It's been easy to put the practice and action step in motion. I'll be very curious about the next course and how I will continue to see change in my relationship with food. And I will keep you posted!


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