Game On Round 2- Final Results

Today was the final weigh-in for the second round of our Game On challenge.

Here are the specifics...I lost a total of 22 lbs. in the six weeks of this round and won the individual challenge (and $100 which will be going straight into my Ireland fund). Since starting the the Game On diet in the beginning/middle of August, I've lost a total of 24.4 lbs. How is that possibly you say? Because in some crazy ass bad lesson I learned in the week off between games, I gained 12 lbs of the 14.4 that I lost in the first round/four weeks. And then I lost 10 lbs. of that in the first week back on the Game for the second round. Ridiculous, sad and disturbing, but it's the truth. And clearly that I need the Game to help with moderation and all that jazz.

As far as the points thing goes, I earned perfect points the whole entire game, except for this week, because I didn't meet the weight goal. The important thing for me with the points is that I didn't lose it for deciding to snack, for missing a meal, eating something I wasn't supposed to, deciding to splurge or binge while playing the game, drinking, not getting enough sleep, exercise or doing the work on my habits. I'm okay with losing points for not getting the weight goals in. Because I feel so confident about how hard I have been working and how much I've put into this. And I know that this is a long-term approach (in short-term intervals) and the reality is that some weeks I'll lose and some weeks I won't.

The six weeks was a tad bit long to play the game. When we play again, maybe we'll cap it off at four weeks, or five weeks, tops. I also don't want to play around with the period pass, which I graciously was able to take for the two weeks before today's weigh-in even though I didn't technically need it (if you know what I mean). And today, I of course did need it (if you know what I mean). I also want to play around with different food options to see if there's a different plan out there for me. I definitely think I'm eating way too much dairy. Relying on the convenience of light cheese and greek yogurt for at least one or two meals each day, sometimes even more. Too much cheese. I love it, but I want to be able to incorporate protein bars and powder for meals, and eat something other than cheese as much as I have.

We did not win the team challenge, which was $400 for the winning duo to split. That was a big bummer, but Katie & Cyrena were gracious winners and it was well deserved. And again, grand scheme, big picture thinking, I'm really okay with it. Yeah the money would have been nice, but still.

I took today off, and am taking tomorrow off- both from the program and working out. Having time to not think about all the things I need to do is a very nice mental break. But I also know how important it is for me to have structure. So come Friday, Katie & I are back on the Game for one week before we leave for Ireland. We are going to play some version of the Game in Ireland too and also plan on being really active- renting bikes is a must and I absolutely want to hike and go running while I'm there.

So that's the end of Round 2. I'm already looking forward to the real next round, which we're planning on starting the day before Thanksgiving. (Yes, seriously).

For now, I'm just going to enjoy the great way I'm feeling and be really proud of myself for doing as well as I have. This is really just the beginning, but it feels really good.

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Last Chance Workout!

As a birthday treat, Britt gifted me a training session which I cashed in tonight and dubbed my "Last Chance Workout." I just started watching The Biggest Loser this season, and know that the Last Chance Workout is a killer opportunity to burn a shitload of calories before the weigh-in.

Well, tomorrow is our final weigh-in for the second round of the Game On Diet. And I have some weight to lose. My body has not been cooperating as much as I'd like in the past three weeks. Three weeks ago I lost nothing. Which is sad. Last week I lost 3 lbs., which is awesome, but it was a pound shy of the goal. This means that this week I need to lose my 1% goal and the additional pound I didn't lose last week. The pressure is definitely on. And I've been strategic in my approach all week. Putting in double workouts. Eliminating salt from my diet. Only having two drinks at my birthday celebration. I even went in the freaking steam room tonight at the gym! There's no doubt that I'm going all out and trying as hard as I can.

So my workout with Britt today was a big part of that strategy as well. She knows that I'm playing the game and she also knows that tomorrow's the final weigh-in. As a result she kicked my ass. I mean, really kicked my ass, and it felt so great to be working out with her again. Man have I missed workouts with Britt. As great as it feels to be able to still push and motivate myself enough to get to the gym and do weight training all on my own, tonight's workout was a perfect reminder of just how intense and effective working out with Britt is.

Here's what she had me do:

Step-ups with 20 lbs IN EACH HAND


Chest flies (luckily I was not wearing the same outfit featured in the picture below)


Squats into an overhead press


Shoulder flies


Standing row squat


Lateral pull-down


Standing split lunge (my least favorite exercise)


Incline push-ups


Plank


Quick step-ups


By the time I was done, I was beeeeeat. But I felt so great. And oddly energized. It felt wonderful to be able to sustain a workout with Britt knowing that it had been well over a month (maybe even two months?) since my last workout with her. I know she worked me hard too. So it was great.

When I was done with the workout I went up to the locker room and ate my pre-packed last meal. 6 slices of roasted chicken breast, almonds and an apple. Then I went into the steam room. Thinking I need every advantage I could get, I stayed in there for maybe 10 minutes hoping it'll help the number on the scale tomorrow morning.

Here's the thing, $300 is on the line. And I would looooove to get that money in my hot little hands. I've got a trip to Ireland coming up and it would go a long way. But if the number on the scale doesn't cooperate (it doesn't necessarily help that it's that time of the month for me- finally), I really am okay with it. I'll be bummed, for sure, but it doesn't take away all the hard work I've done and the many, important changes I've made. At the same time, I think I am completely capable of pulling this off and certainly hope the number on the scale is in line with the goal for the week!

So tomorrow I'll report back on how Game 2 ended!

PS- Thank you Britt- you're the best!

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September 5th 2005

The title of this blog post is the date that I started writing in my red journal. It has taken me four years, but tonight I finally FINALLY finished writing in this book that I have carried around with me all that time.

I started writing in a journal the first day of my senior year of high school. For the better part of eight years I wrote pretty much every single day. I've gone back and read some of my journal entries from high school and I have been horrified. It reminds me of that live show (and book) Get Mortified. If you don't know, and taken from their own website, Mortified is: a comic excavation of the strange and extraordinary things we created as kids. Witness adults sharing their own adolescent journals, letters, poems, lyrics, home movies, stories and more. I've been to the live show twice and it always makes me go back and read my own journals. It's ridiculous and embarrassing the kinds of things that were "important" to the teenage version of me. But totally entertaining, in a cringe-worthy way.

The writing in a journal thing slowed down and almost stopped completely around the time my dad died. I remember sitting in the hospital the day he died and writing about the experience of sitting next to him while he slept. It was the morning of August 26th, 2004 and I forced myself to sit there and write down everything I saw, heard and smelled. As painful as the experience was, I knew I wanted to remember it. For what? I have no clue. I was very conscious of writing in my journal after he died too. I knew the time was so awful, but again, there was something inside of me telling me I'd one day want to look back on the time and remember what I was feeling. Funny thing is, over five years later, I can sum it up pretty easily- I felt lost, angry, sad and incredibly lonely at the thought of never hearing from or seeing my father again.

Writing in my journal had always been a good release for me. But I stopped writing in there regularly. I think like many things that were good for me, I shoved it aside and buried myself in work and taking care of other people. So it's no surprise that it took me this long to finish this journal.

When I started the Game on Diet way back in the beginning of August, I knew the good habit I wanted to pick up was to write in my journal again. I was so sick of picking it up weeks or months after an entry and starting it with "It's been so long since I last wrote in here." And when we started round 2 of the game, I knew I wanted to continue the journal writing as my good habit. It really does help keep me stay a little bit sane and put things into perspective.

So last night when I finally finished that journal, I felt such a huge sense of accomplishment. It's definitely the longest it's ever taken me to write in a journal, and hopefully it'll stay that way. Now that I'm on this course of writing in it regularly (at least six nights a week), I hope my future journals will be filled up much, much quicker.

What's fun about finishing a journal is that I get to pick up a new one. This past weekend I went to Barnes & Noble on two separate occasions to try and pick out a new journal. I'm very picky about my journals (and lots and lots of other things) and it must have taken me more than 30 minutes- on my second visit- before I snatched up the one best suited to me. Although the lines are a little too far apart on the paper inside, I love it and can't wait to get started- TONIGHT!

Old journal:


New journal:

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Week 5 Results

Although I had a great weight loss this week and was down 3 lbs, I did not make my weight goal. Because I have kick-ass teammates that I'm playing with, they allowed me to take advantage of the . pass (even though I took it last week). We're definitely taking liberties with some of the rules of the game, but I can't spend too much time thinking about it. As one of my teammates very nicely pointed out, it's not like I'm not all out playing this thing.

I am so in this. And I don't think the weight appearing on the scale is an accurate reflection of that. But I'm so beyond using that as the most important measure of my success. That in and of itself feels great too.

To really try and boost the number on the scale, I was putting in double workouts for three days before weigh-in. I did cardio in the morning and weight training in the evening. This last week on the game is going to be very similar. And with an added challenge of my birthday, I'm really going to have to kick it up a notch.

This past week has proved to be really stressful. A major work challenge was thrown into the mix on Thursday, right about the same exact time I picked Meghan up from the airport and right when I was supposed to stop working for the rest of the day. I opted to take both Thursday & Friday afternoon so I could spend time with Meghan and just take time to relax. But life had different plans in store for me. As it turned out, I put in nearly 30 hours on Thursday & Friday alone.

I have spent the past seven days completely stressed, over-worked (like most of the people I work with) and anxious. Too much time working. But the great thing is that when I felt like I was getting to the breaking point, I stepped away from work and went to the gym! Upon waking up for the past four mornings, I chose to go to the gym instead of getting right onto my computer. I actually thought about how good orange chicken and diet coke would have tasted. How the old Molly would have normally walked right over to Panda Express and grabbed that shit, only feeling better temporarily, and beating herself up later.

So despite the fact that I didn't technically make my weight goal this week, I'm very proud that I've continued to make positive changes and altered bad habits. It makes celebrating my birthday tomorrow so much sweeter!

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Weight, what?

Yesterday I was really looking forward to weighing-in for the 4th week in Round 2 of the Game On diet. I ate really well yesterday (and all week) and eliminated all salt from my diet. I ate meals that were really good for me- meals the old Molly never would have eaten. An egg white frittata with chicken and spinach. Whole wheat pasta with broccoli rabe and rotisserie chicken. I exercised and tried to get in all my meals early in the evening.

So when I stepped on the scale today and realized that I didn't lose a single pound (let alone ounce) all week, I was seriously bummed. I didn't do anything majorly different from every other week I've been playing the game. I worked hard. I ate clean. I drank a ton of water. I slept well. I can't really be hitting a freaking plateau, can I?

I have to put this into perspective though. I've been playing the game for eight weeks (with one week off). This is the first time that I've never not lost and in the grand scheme of things, I'm really okay with that. Because the number on the scale this morning was not a reflection of how hard I've worked this past week. And I've clearly come a very long way because I actually believe that. I'm not letting the number on the scale get me down or make me want to throw the towel in- not for a second. In fact, I got right back into things today, went to the store, picked up more game on food and successfully made my way through the day, including a kickass treadmill workout, which included running. Running!

I've been doing more of that lately. Fitness Magazine is slowly becoming my magazine of choice (thanks Poulin!) and they had a great treadmill interval workout from actress Lindsey Price in their latest issue. I usually skip right over those things, but a few weeks ago I decided to cut out the routine and try it at the gym. I couldn't go as fast as they suggested, but I was able to work up to at 10.0 incline. For some reason I had it in my brain that it was for a walking workout, so when the speed kept increasing, I realized I had no choice but to run! As I've mentioned in this blog previously, I used to be such a big runner. It was such a huge part of my life and although I've slowly tried to get back into it (failed marathon attempt last year, sniff sniff), it hasn't been very successful. But lately, I have been incorporating a bit of running into the treadmill workout and I'm not getting injured and it's feeling good. So I'm going with it!

Anyway, despite the fact that I didn't lose, I'm still in this. This is not a setback, it's just an opportunity to work even harder this week to see results. I can do this!

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Fall in California

I've really been missing New England lately. Friends, some I've become reacquainted with, on Facebook have been posting amazing, gorgeous pictures highlighting what an unbelievable fall it's been in New Hampshire. And it's made me long for fall.

It was always my favorite time of year living there. Of course, like a typical teenager, I never ever appreciated it as much as I should have. So I sit and look at these pictures and my heart literally aches to be back inside 22 Winter Street. What I wouldn't give to be walking to 63 Elm and seeing the amazing fall foliage in the time it takes me to visit the Goolman's. Or to step outside and smell and feel the crisp fall air. And to do things I don't even think I ever did when I lived there- go apple picking, visit a pumpkin patch, make apple cider, hike in the White Mountains and be completely assaulted by the reds, oranges, yellows of the trees.

If you're interested in looking at some stunning pictures of fall foliage New Hampshire style, check out my friend Kristin's photos. I can't describe how beautiful her pictures are, so just go check 'em out yourself. And thank you Kristin for humoring me with my photo requests. I can't tell you how happy you're making me!

Because of all this missing New Hampshire and wanting to do all sorts of fall activities, I did a little research and took Steve to Oak Glen, CA where they have a ton of apple farms. I wanted to pick our own apples, but that was a bust as it wasn't an "apple picking" weekend. We did make it to Snow Line Orchard where we were drawn in because of the sign at the entrance promising mini donuts. Sold! Once there, we walked around, waiting in line for the donuts, tasted some apples, shopped and then walked around some more.

Although it was clearly a family filled activity with lots of families around, we had a nice time. And it didn't take long before I felt like I was almost back east. The "fall-like colors" advertised were really nowhere to be seen. But for just a few minutes, I felt like a part of New Hampshire was with me again. Next year I'm determined to go back east for fall foliage and enjoy all of my favorite fall ativities without regret!

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I do not Print my own Money

I had to make a difficult decision two weeks ago when all my pre-paid sessions with Brittany were up. You may not know this about me, but I do not print my own money. And as much as I would love love love to keep working out with Britt, I just can't keep spending the money- despite how great of an investment it is.

The reality of the situation is, I'm so far along in my workout progress because of the time and financial investment I made in personal training. And I absolutely consider myself so lucky to have been paired up with someone as dedicated, excited, encouraging and motivating as Britt. But like a lot of things in life, this too had to come to an end. I'm not saying my relationship with Britt is coming to an end, because I'm not ready to let her go- ever. But, I think the days of me working out with her three times a week is.

Sigh.

In many ways I am stronger than I ever have been in my life. I have used and built up muscles I never knew I had before. I've worked my body in ways I didn't know was possible. And I've learned that I can push myself really really far. Working with Britt has been a tremendous gift and eye-opening experience as I realize just how strong I am. And I never would have realized that if we hadn't worked together.

It's because of all our hard work together that I have the strength (mentally and physically) to continue weight training without her. (Insert sadness here). Britt knows I love her, so I don't feel like this is any betrayal. And she also knows that I don't print my own money and that Equinox is f'n expensive- no hard feelings there. So when I finally went back to the gym and started weight training last Tuesday, it was only fitting that Britt was training someone else basically right next to where me and Katie decided to start lifting weights, so I could ease into being on my own.

Working out with a trainer, as difficult as it is, is easy in many ways. Well in one really big and important way actually. You don't have to do anything thinking or planning. You just show up and do what someone else has designed for you and tells you to do. And for a lot of reasons, that was really easy for me. Tell me what to do, and I'll do it. So I wasn't sure exactly how it would work when I had to do the designing of the workout plan all on my own. And on top of that, I had to motivate someone else and keep myself focused?

Well, I'm happy to say that I did it. In fact, I did it three times last week- with Katie. I designed a plan with the help of the Body for Life book/website Weight Training plan and then matched it up with a super rad application on the iPhone called iFitness. It was difficult to get back into the swing of things and I found myself incredibly sore for almost a full week, but I felt great- and strong.

It pushed me yet again and helped me see, even more, that I can do anything I put my mind to if I just focus. Being able to get myself to the gym when I have someone (Britt) waiting for me is one thing. But getting myself there to do weight training all on my own, well that feels good on an entirely different level.

It says a lot that it's not as hard to get to the gym and to workout anymore. It's just one way that I can measure my growth and commitment to living a healthy and happy life. And I'm all freaking for it.

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Como say What?

Typically when I head to San Francisco, or many other locations, I have a list of places I would love to hit (read, eat at). Trips are centered around restaurants I have missed and foods I have dreamed about. Silver dollar pancakes. The most intense tuna melts. Fish and chips wrapped in newspaper. Caesar salad and garlic curly fries. Pizza. Dunkin Donuts hot chocolate. Bagels. Pizza. Pizza. Pizza.

So when I arrived into San Francisco, I immediately made my way to Pluto's- a favorite of mine from when I lived in the city. It was my day off and I knew I was going to get salad and garlic curly fries. I couldn't wait.

And that's where the food frenzy ended this trip.

In fact, right from Pluto's, I was dropped off with all my luggage at the nearest Whole Foods so I could continue playing the Game while in meetings during my three day work trip in San Francisco. I struggled my way around the store with my small carry-on luggage (hooray for wheels), my purse and a freaking grocery basket. I filled up on protein, healthy fats, vegetables and fruit. I had called ahead to make sure the hotel had a fridge in the room and was planning my meals so no points would be lost!

It was one of those moments where I definitely had an identity crisis. The writer and creator of this game very infrequently updates a blog and her last post was about the fact that she barely recognized herself because of the foods she was eating and the behaviors she was incorporating into her life. And I related to that so much as I maneuvered my way around Whole Foods planning out my meals for the next few days. In fact, I was so distracted that when I put all my items on the conveyor belt at the check-out line, I realized I had forgotten my luggage back in the raw foods section. But really, who was this person? Who have I become?

We're nearly three weeks into the Game and I'm still really enjoying the program. I think it's safe to say that it's not so much a new thing, but more of a routine that I'm happy to have fallen into. I can make healthy choices without struggling. I am seeing results (which is one of the best aspects of the entire game). I'm feeling much better. I'm working out a ton. I'm writing in my journal. I've dropped diet soda about 98% from my life. I no longer troll celebrity and TV gossip sites. I'm not using my iPhone all the time to check email first thing in the morning or to help me fall asleep at night. I'm drinking a ton of water. I'm trying new things. I'm being kind to my body. I'm appreciating the changes. And most importantly, I'm respecting the process.

I've set myself up to continue playing and following the program here in San Francisco and know, especially with my Indiana work trip behind me, that no matter what goodies are laid out in front me during the day long work meetings I'll be sitting in over the next couple of days, the temptations don't stand a chance to me!

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