A Story of Someone- 8/2

Steve and I went away for a few days before my crazy work travel begins and he goes back to school. In April, on a tip from Cyrena, we went to Cambria and fell in love with the peace and quiet of the area. After a night there, we continued up along the coast and ended up in San Francisco for a night- a favorite city of ours where we got engaged. We had a delicious meal at an Italian restaurant we stumbled upon and had a really enjoyable night in the city. So much so that Steve wanted to do the exact same trip again.

I knew we were going to be in San Francisco for my Story of Someone, I just wasn't sure where the day would take me. On Saturday night, up for an adventure, Steve and I drove to a set of mosaic stairs that I read about online while exploring stair walks in the city. They were magnificent and so much more beautiful than I was prepared for. I bounded up those stairs only to get to another set (of ordinary stairs) that led to a wonderful viewpoint of the city. I couldn't stop the smile on my face for the rest of the night. It was such a spontaneous and unusual end to our night and I just loved it. I was bummed that my photos just wouldn't do it justice. I tried hard to get some photos, but you couldn't grasp how beautiful the stairs were at night. So I was already plotting my return, when I'd sneak out of the hotel room while Steve was still sleeping.

And that's exactly what I did.

I got there just about 8:00 a.m. and had the place to myself when I first arrive. With tired legs and a little slower than the night before, I followed the same route up the two different sets of stairs to the view point. When I came back down, I was a little bummed that someone was now obstructing my photo of the empty mosaic stairs, but then I got really happy knowing I could use this man as my Story of Someone. I went from being annoyed to being grateful that someone was there to "get in my way". Thanks to this stranger, I had the most beautiful backdrop to my photo. 

I have climbed a lot of stairs, especially recently, and I can honestly say that these are the prettiest stairs I've ever seen and climbed! I look forward to going back and exploring more staircases in San Francisco and other cities I'll be traveling to in the next few months.

Check out Cyrena and Sarah's (coming soon) photos below:

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Como say What?

Typically when I head to San Francisco, or many other locations, I have a list of places I would love to hit (read, eat at). Trips are centered around restaurants I have missed and foods I have dreamed about. Silver dollar pancakes. The most intense tuna melts. Fish and chips wrapped in newspaper. Caesar salad and garlic curly fries. Pizza. Dunkin Donuts hot chocolate. Bagels. Pizza. Pizza. Pizza.

So when I arrived into San Francisco, I immediately made my way to Pluto's- a favorite of mine from when I lived in the city. It was my day off and I knew I was going to get salad and garlic curly fries. I couldn't wait.

And that's where the food frenzy ended this trip.

In fact, right from Pluto's, I was dropped off with all my luggage at the nearest Whole Foods so I could continue playing the Game while in meetings during my three day work trip in San Francisco. I struggled my way around the store with my small carry-on luggage (hooray for wheels), my purse and a freaking grocery basket. I filled up on protein, healthy fats, vegetables and fruit. I had called ahead to make sure the hotel had a fridge in the room and was planning my meals so no points would be lost!

It was one of those moments where I definitely had an identity crisis. The writer and creator of this game very infrequently updates a blog and her last post was about the fact that she barely recognized herself because of the foods she was eating and the behaviors she was incorporating into her life. And I related to that so much as I maneuvered my way around Whole Foods planning out my meals for the next few days. In fact, I was so distracted that when I put all my items on the conveyor belt at the check-out line, I realized I had forgotten my luggage back in the raw foods section. But really, who was this person? Who have I become?

We're nearly three weeks into the Game and I'm still really enjoying the program. I think it's safe to say that it's not so much a new thing, but more of a routine that I'm happy to have fallen into. I can make healthy choices without struggling. I am seeing results (which is one of the best aspects of the entire game). I'm feeling much better. I'm working out a ton. I'm writing in my journal. I've dropped diet soda about 98% from my life. I no longer troll celebrity and TV gossip sites. I'm not using my iPhone all the time to check email first thing in the morning or to help me fall asleep at night. I'm drinking a ton of water. I'm trying new things. I'm being kind to my body. I'm appreciating the changes. And most importantly, I'm respecting the process.

I've set myself up to continue playing and following the program here in San Francisco and know, especially with my Indiana work trip behind me, that no matter what goodies are laid out in front me during the day long work meetings I'll be sitting in over the next couple of days, the temptations don't stand a chance to me!

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San Francisco...then and now

My friend Amy is in town visiting and we decided to go up to San Francisco to relive our youth. We had such a blast when we lived there and before Amy heads to Milan (yes, Italy) for three years, we wanted to go back up and cause some trouble.

When I lived in San Francisco in June & July of 1999 and then again from June 2000 - September 9, 2001, I had no worries, well not really. I'm sure I was in this place of not liking my body, but not to the extent it has gotten to in present times. But I ate what I wanted to and didn't really work out that much. I know I started to have big trouble with my weight, my emotions and my lifestyle when I was in San Francisco, but for the most part, I remember eating, drinking and doing pretty much whatever I wanted. I didn't think too much about consequences...that I can remember!

Anyway, it was an interesting thing this time around. Before we went up, I made a list of all the places I wanted to go to eat and drink at. Here's what I was hoping we'd do:
Sears Fine Food- the best Swedish pancakes in the world and something my Dad loved. They're famous for them and the order I usually get comes with 18 silver dollar pancakes. And I usually add a side of bacon.
Tapp's- Another breakfast place right around the corner from our old apartment at 940 Post Street. A side of pancakes comes with any breakfast dish you order off the menu. I couldn't wait to try those pancakes too.
Kezar's- Amy & I always used to go here and split a turkey club sandwich (with tomato on the side) with french fries, typically before hitting the bar.
Finnegan's Wake- Many great nights were had here drinking and having fun. This is a must stop on our tour especially since it's in Cole Valley, where we worked and lived and first fell in love with the city of San Francisco.
Crepes on Cole- Back in the day, I would get a chicken Caesar salad, a side of potatoes and a sesame bagel.
Pluto's- This place is fantastic. You can build your own salad, and they have the best garlic fries around. I always try to hit this up when I'm in San Francisco.
The Owl Tree- The type of place you never forget! And a great place to get a beer.
The Ha Ra- Historically, we would drink so much we'd get Dominos to deliver. Note, Dominos was across the street. Like you could see it while sitting at the bar.

Okay, so I got up to San Francisco and realized that I didn't want the entire trip to be about what I ate and drank. I wanted to see the city and walk around a ton. I didn't want to go from one restaurant to another and feel all bad about myself.

I also took this as a really good sign of the progress I've been making. One thing that my nutritionist (and I'm sure my therapist) said to me was that I need to not make food the most important thing in my life. And I'm really working on that one. This trip was a big step forward for me with that line of thinking. I had all these intentions before I got there to eat my way through San Francisco.

But the good news is, I went on a mini vacation and really and truly didn't eat and/or drink my way through the city. I felt good about my food choices, knowing that it wasn't 100%, but also knowing that it could have been so much worse. I left feeling very proud of myself...trusting that this process is working for me.

It's slow, for sure, but I know the changes I'm making and the work I'm doing is helping me make life long healthful decisions.

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Honesty in 2007

It's been a few days since my last entry, and what I want to focus on today is the session that I had with my nutritionist. I feel very fortunate to have found my nutritionist; she has helped me address some of my food challenges (as I like to call them) and she's been instrumental in helping me become more honest with myself about what I am and am not willing to do.

I caught up with a good friend/co-worker yesterday who read some of my blog for the first time yesterday and was nothing but supportive. But at the end of our conversation, she asked what my theme was for the year. As an aside, I believe her theme is Sexy in 07. I didn't think much about mine, saying that this was a journey and I couldn't label it or some lame thing like that. But the more I was talking, the easier it was for me to say that my theme for the year is Honesty in 2007.

I feel like part of my challenges with my weight and food are linked directly to how honest I can be with and about myself. As far as being honest with myself, I need to really sit and think about what my food choices are honestly doing to my body and how they are impacting me. What came up in my meeting on Monday was that I lack long-term accountability for the food choices I do make. Thinking about that, being honest with the choices I do make, may have an impact on some of the decisions I do make. Or at least they should. I can't have french fries every day and think that I'm going to lose weight. I need to be honest about myself in the sense that I can't beat myself up, think poorly of myself and my process and expect to see great results. I recognize that when I'm not being honest with myself, when I'm not treating my body well, treating ME well, it shows up in so many different aspects of my life. I need to be honest with myself, but I also need love and patience for the process.

The other "notes" that I took from my meeting on Monday were:
1. What can I do to make food less important?
2. I need to be able to say no to myself.
3. What I'm trying to do to my body is more important than the food I want to put in it.

Lots of great stuff for me to think about and try to put into action. One thing I've noticed, since I'm being honest here, is that I have a tendency to do this great work in my therapy or nutrition session and then don't look at my notes or do anything with the things we've covered until I open up the book I track my food in for the next time...So I'm going to work on that one.

Totally separate, I'm in San Francisco for work and I have been making it a point to get out and walk all over the place. Yesterday I walked from Fisherman's Wharf to the Marina and back. This morning, after meeting a good friend for breakfast, I walked three blocks worth of stairs to Coit Tower and then walked down through North Beach and back up to my friend/co-worker's apartment. The super steep streets- you know, the kind where there are stairs built into the street so you don't lose your balance and fall back? I showed up at the location for the meetings feeling like I was about to die, like my legs were going to snap off and was a sweaty mess. I work from home people...on the one day I need to look professional, I show up looking like I just stepped off the f'n elliptical trainer. Don't worry, I pulled my stuff together and did just fine!

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