Thursday, June 7, 2007

Honesty in 2007

It's been a few days since my last entry, and what I want to focus on today is the session that I had with my nutritionist. I feel very fortunate to have found my nutritionist; she has helped me address some of my food challenges (as I like to call them) and she's been instrumental in helping me become more honest with myself about what I am and am not willing to do.

I caught up with a good friend/co-worker yesterday who read some of my blog for the first time yesterday and was nothing but supportive. But at the end of our conversation, she asked what my theme was for the year. As an aside, I believe her theme is Sexy in 07. I didn't think much about mine, saying that this was a journey and I couldn't label it or some lame thing like that. But the more I was talking, the easier it was for me to say that my theme for the year is Honesty in 2007.

I feel like part of my challenges with my weight and food are linked directly to how honest I can be with and about myself. As far as being honest with myself, I need to really sit and think about what my food choices are honestly doing to my body and how they are impacting me. What came up in my meeting on Monday was that I lack long-term accountability for the food choices I do make. Thinking about that, being honest with the choices I do make, may have an impact on some of the decisions I do make. Or at least they should. I can't have french fries every day and think that I'm going to lose weight. I need to be honest about myself in the sense that I can't beat myself up, think poorly of myself and my process and expect to see great results. I recognize that when I'm not being honest with myself, when I'm not treating my body well, treating ME well, it shows up in so many different aspects of my life. I need to be honest with myself, but I also need love and patience for the process.

The other "notes" that I took from my meeting on Monday were:
1. What can I do to make food less important?
2. I need to be able to say no to myself.
3. What I'm trying to do to my body is more important than the food I want to put in it.

Lots of great stuff for me to think about and try to put into action. One thing I've noticed, since I'm being honest here, is that I have a tendency to do this great work in my therapy or nutrition session and then don't look at my notes or do anything with the things we've covered until I open up the book I track my food in for the next time...So I'm going to work on that one.

Totally separate, I'm in San Francisco for work and I have been making it a point to get out and walk all over the place. Yesterday I walked from Fisherman's Wharf to the Marina and back. This morning, after meeting a good friend for breakfast, I walked three blocks worth of stairs to Coit Tower and then walked down through North Beach and back up to my friend/co-worker's apartment. The super steep streets- you know, the kind where there are stairs built into the street so you don't lose your balance and fall back? I showed up at the location for the meetings feeling like I was about to die, like my legs were going to snap off and was a sweaty mess. I work from home people...on the one day I need to look professional, I show up looking like I just stepped off the f'n elliptical trainer. Don't worry, I pulled my stuff together and did just fine!


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