A Good Break

Usually when I take a break from the blog, it means that I've also taken a break from eating well and working out. I'm happy to say that's not the case this time around. Unfortunately, I've been a little lazy and I also didn't have a lot of time for more of the time I was in Indiana.

I'm waiting for dinner to finish cooking- a grilled chicken breast and sweet potato served over a bed of spinach (who AM I?)- and then hope to get into bed early. Steve caught his first cold of the school year and I think it's safe to say it's headed in my direction.

Last week in Indiana was another test of my will power and ability to stay on "game" despite having every possible temptation thrown my way or, in most cases, literally staring me in the face (or sitting right in front of me). But I did resist. I spent all week making healthy choices, telling people what I was doing, working out after a full freaking day of work before heading out for a long night of work. I did it and felt really great after the first week back on the game. In fact, I had to travel with my scale so I had my first weigh-in while I was on the road and had a huge loss.

This is mainly because I had a huge gain in my week off. But whatever. I'm on track, I'm doing better, I'm moving forward, blah blah blah.

So I'm back home and it feels good to be on program.

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Ramblings

I'm in Indiana for a leadership retreat through work. I was here last year and was asked to come back this year as the "alumni assistant." This means, among many other things, I get to sit back and watch other people go through the process while I observe and help the experience stay on task and run smoothly.

I love the company I work for and continue to feel so privileged that I get to work here. I've been doing this work for quite some time now and it's not lost on me how lucky I am to love what I do as much as I do. And being able to come back and assist with someone like this reminds me all over again how great this place is and the people whose company I am in.

While here, it's this amazing opportunity to look at yourself in an entirely different light. And although I've already been through it, I am energized to have this opportunity to focus on me and my leadership.

I've been struggling the past few days. After catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror and seeing some tagged photos of me from the Denver 3-Day, I became really down on myself. I wish the whole losing weight thing happened quicker. I wish I saw results much sooner than I have. And the thing about saying shit like that and feeling that way is I know in my heart it's unproductive. I also know that it does me no good to think unkindly about my body. It starts a vicious and unhealthy pattern that has never served me well.

I think I've said before that I wish I could see myself through other people's eyes. Because I know for a fact that most of my friends and co-workers don't label me as an overweight person. It's not what defines me in their eyes. And I need and desperately want to be more like that and to feel that way about myself.

When I saw myself, it was disheartening. I thought I looked gross. And I was ashamed. Scratch that, am ashamed. But I have been doing so well for the past couple of months. I have made some serious changes to the way I eat and treat my body. And I know that takes a lot of time. I need to be patient and understanding of the amount of time it's going to take me to see a significant difference in my appearance.

While I'm here in Indiana I am on "the game." I went to Whole Foods this morning and picked up a bunch of groceries to ensure I have enough protein and other food whenever I need it. I also picked up endless amounts of soda, candy, chips and cookies for the group to eat at the farm. Which is fine. Because I will be snacking on almonds, cheese, yogurt, fruit and veggies.

Anyway, no real good way to tie this all together. Except to say that I'm energized by being here and would really like to focus on all the good things that I'm doing for myself. The rest, I really do believe, will fall into place in time.

Patience.

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Nothing Looks as Good as Being Healthy Feels

Over the course of the past week, I have definitely strayed far from the game. I've eaten pretty much whatever I've wanted, whenever I've wanted. I've barely exercised- especially in comparison to what I have been doing. I was dehydrated a lot of days. As a result, I didn't sleep as well as I have. Stressful situations at work weren't as easy for me to deal with. My moods were, eh. And all I could think was just X more days until we're back on the game. I've been craving getting back on track and this past week has felt long. Long and...difficult without the communication and support and structure that the game provided for 28 days.

I thought it was hard being ON the game, but this past week proved that it was just as hard to be OFF the game.

Katie, Cyrena, Penny and I met up tonight for a quick pow wow before we get started on Round 2. We handed over the winnings to Penny and talked about this next round. We've decided to extend the game from 4 weeks to 6. We've upped the winnings a bit (everyone is putting in $150). Changed around the terms of the winners (winning team with the most points splits $400, the person who loses the highest percentage of their original weight wins $100 and the individual who loses the highest percentage of their starting weight each week wings $20). And changed teams. It's me and Penny against Katie and Cyrena.

After a quick stop at Whole Foods on the way home, I'm feeling prepared to get this party started tomorrow. But of course, I'm starting the game off with a challenge. On Saturday I fly to Chicago, spend two nights there and then head off to Indiana from Monday - Thursday for work. I need a game plan and will spend the next day or two figuring out exactly how I'm going to stay on game while I'm gone.

It all comes down to being prepared and thinking ahead. And that's just what I'm going to do!

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Game On Round 1- Final Results

Yesterday we had the final weigh-in for Round 1 of the Game on Diet.

I lost a total of 14.4 lbs- 3.4 lbs in my last week alone! I feel so much better already. I've made a ton of small changes and although we're taking a week off before we get started on Round 2, I'm excited and anxious to keep going. Both really good signs as all other previous weight loss attempts have most certainly NOT had the same effect!

Sadly, I didn't win the grand prize of $300. Because we changed the rules around a little bit, we crowned the winner based on who lost the most percentage of their original weight (as opposed to who earned the most points, which by the way, was me). I lost by .3%. Yes POINT 3. Waaa. But I really am okay with it because I gained so so much more!

We reconvene next Tuesday PM to set the parameters for the next game, which starts on Wednesday September 16th. I'm only one day off the game and I can see how much I need (and crave) the structure and discipline the game provides. For now, I'm allowing myself to stray a bit from the rigidity (that I need) of the program without going absolutely crazy. And then come next Wednesday, I will be back on board, planning, thinking, making conscious decisions about what I put in my mouth and how I treat my body.

For now, I'm going to enjoy the success that I've seen, down 14.4 lbs in 28 days, and all the positive changes I've made.

I highly recommend the game for anyone who has struggled to find a meaningful way to lose weight. I feel grateful that I found the game and three other people to play it with who were equally committed to playing all out. I was encouraged, supported and pushed and was equally supportive and encouraging to my teammates. A huge congratulations and thank you to my teammates- you are all amazing, wonderful women and I couldn't have done it without you. We've got a good thing going and I'm very interested and excited to see where this leads us.

Even though Round 1 is over, I feel like it's just the beginning of a lot of greatness in my life- fulfillment with my body, my weight and peace of mind with this struggle that I've hated carrying around for so long.

Stay tuned!

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The Night Before the Final Weigh-in

Tomorrow is the final weigh-in for our first round of The Game On Diet and I'm feeling really really great about it. Regardless of if I win the ultimate prize ($300), I already feel like a winner.

Yes, I know how lame that sounds. But hear me out.

I haven't had soda in 27 days.
I haven't looked at any celebrity gossip online in 27 days.
I haven't had a hoo-ha (overeating experience) in 27 days.
I've already lost more than 4% of my original body weight (this doesn't include my final weigh-in tomorrow, so hopefully that number will go down).
I've eaten things I've never eaten before- egg whites, canned albacore tuna (on salad with no mayo), freaking tofu...
I've tested my willpower and completely won.
Carried around a cooler throughout the city of Denver just so I could stick to the program, displaying a sense of will power I did not know I had regarding food.
Only lost points once for not getting enough sleep while I was in Denver.
Learned to say no.
Learned to say yes.
I've had maybe 4 drinks total in the past 27 days.

Those are just a few of the changes I've incorporated and made over the short 27 days. And even though the first round of this game ends tomorrow, I feel like in many ways, this really is just the beginning.

We're starting up round 2 of the game next Wednesday the 16th. Nothing like starting off with a challenge! I'll be in Chicago & Indiana for six days for work and then will also be in San Francisco for another three days on a work trip at the beginning of October. But, I figure being in situations like that is exactly when I need to be playing the game.

For now, I'm beat. I fit in two workouts today and once I write in my journal, it's time for bed!

I'll report back on how the final weigh-in goes!

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Wisdom from a Friend

Reading a book without periods is not pleasurable.

Working without restoring is not pleasurable.

The key to stress management is the ability to create recovery.

There is a state of human doing and human being. Make space for both.

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Huge Accomplishment

Is it bad that one of the things that sticks out most for me with the 3-Day is that I actually stuck to my food plan while I was gone? Because it is. I'm very very proud of myself for doing it. I feel like I crossed this mental barrier in my life by being able to carry around a cooler filled with protein and other "game on" approved foods. To add fuel to the fire, my job (which I volunteered for) was to unpack, arrange and hand out the snacks to the participants as they came through our Pit Stop. But my plan was to be on program Wednesday, Thursday, Friday & Saturday and take Sunday as my day off. And it worked! Thanks to a lot of determination and will power, I stuck to it with flying colors and during my time in Colorado, only missed points because I did not get a full 7 hours of sleep one night.

I made a stop at Target as soon as we arrived to Crew Day on Thursday and picked up a bunch of protein and then made another run on Saturday morning to Whole Oats (my nickname for a Wild Oats store which hasn't transitioned into a full-blown Whole Foods yet) to refill. It was very challenging. Especially when Starbucks pastries were dropped off for us on Friday and Saturday we were greeted with the world's largest box of donuts. It was challenging when I was literally dead on my feet and had to stay up just to get in my last meal of the day. It was especially challenging when I woke up at 322am on Friday and had to work out when I was done with my Crew duties for the day at 630pm, when all I wanted to do was fall onto my bed in the hotel room. It was challenging when I spent all day just handing out Lays, Uncrustables, peanuts and granola bars and I had to steal away to eat more frickin' Laughing Cow cheese just to get my food points in!

But, that's part of what this challenge is all about, right? Making difficult choices everyday to put your health ahead of your temptations. Doing the right thing even when all the wrong things are staring you in the face. I've spent most of my adult life making all the wrong decisions when it comes to my weight loss efforts and it was a huge accomplishment to get it right this time. It also proved to me that I do posses the mental strength to stick with a weight loss plan and that I've just been struggling for a long long time to find the right plan for me. It feels good to have found something that works for me.

I'm happy to say it all paid off when I stepped on the scale today and weighed 3 lbs less than I did the week before! I've lost a total of 11 lbs since we started the game three weeks ago and I feel great. We have one more week of this game and then the final results will determine who wins the $300 prize.

I"m motivated and ready to win, but know that regardless of the outcome, I'm already so far ahead of the game.

Go me!

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