In Search of My Groove and The Year of Molly

It's been a long stretch since I last posted and really since I was paying attention to what I was eating, why, when, where, etc. The holidays have definitely interrupted my groove. I don't know where I heard or read this, but "they" say that the average American gains something like 8-12 lbs between Thanksgiving and New Years. When I read that, I loudly proclaimed "Not me. Not this year." And I'm thinking I might have spoken too soon.

I didn't go crazy, but I certainly didn't keep track of what I ate either. I didn't say no, I didn't think before I ate, I just saw something and ate it. When I say I didn't go crazy, I mean I didn't eat to the point where I felt like I'd explode. But I did in one morning go and grab a bagel with butter and then walked across the street to Dunkin' Donuts and get some munchkins (yum), hot chocolate and a jelly donut. Not all of my trip went that way, but there wasn't much holding back.

Anyway, so I'm back in LA and I'm feeling all schleppy and shit. I feel heavy and tired. And I've come to the conclusion that it sucks to treat my body like a trash can. It's hard enough to run as it is. It's even harder to run when you're overweight and carrying all that extra stuff. And it's even insanely harder (is that correct grammar?) than it needs to be when you're dealing with the emotional and actual baggage of not treating your body well.

I attempted to run yesterday and today and it sucked. I couldn't run a mile without stopping. I cut a three mile run down to two yesterday. Woke up this morning and attempted to run three miles to go meet Boges for a walk in Venice/Santa Monica along the beach and I don't know how many times I stopped. I know I got in three miles but it wasn't all running. And I'd be lying if I didn't admit to being disappointed by that. I'm not being hard on myself (or am I?), the fact of the matter is that before I left for the holidays, I was doing great and felt great. Blah.

It's a new year and I'm not making any resolutions like I have in the past about weight loss and taking better care of myself. I think mainly because they're not resolutions, they're just givens at this point. I need to treat my body better. I need to lose weight. But I also feel like those things will have to happen as a result of all my training.

But resolutions aside, I am hoping this is the year of Molly. I like the way that sounds. It's the year that I really take my life back, put myself first, have fun in ways that aren't all about food and learn to really take care of myself.

So here I am getting back on track. Wish me luck!