Thursday, June 21, 2007

Excuses...We've All Got 'Em

Earlier today, when I put off my run for a bunch of different reasons (I had too much work to do, I was tired, my shins could hurt, I had to eat lunch, I was still tired, I didn't feel like it, I didn't want to), I finally decided that I wasn't going to run because...I didn't feel like it? Of course I had the usual feelings of guilt and self-doubt and ended up thinking that I was lazy and other not so nice things of myself. But I was okay with my decision to not run. I just wasn't going to work out. However, a few hours later, I was IM'ing with a friend (who I had IM'd with earlier and told him about my plan to run in the afternoon) who asked how my run was. An interesting thing happened...I told him I didn't end up going because I got stuck on the phone later than I thought and then I had to eat lunch. The more I talked with him about it, the more I realized the reasons I wasn't going for a run, were quite frankly lame. I wasn't going for a run because I had decided to put my work ahead of me. So just as quickly as I told him I hadn't gone earlier as planned, I let him know that I was going to go shortly after I stopped IM'ing with him. And I did.

The run itself tonight was okay. Yes, just okay. Sometimes I feel heavy when I run. I feel weighed down. And tonight was one of those nights. It could have been that I ran too close to the time I decided to run. It could also be because I'm indeed overweight. It could be a lot of things. But I didn't let it prevent me from doing my workout...and pushing myself just a little more. My shins are definitely feeling a little sore (which makes me want to throw a huge baby fit, throw myself down on the sidewalk and scream "WHY? Why me? Why now? WHY?"), but I'm going to continue to ice and maybe take some ibuprofen and I'm thinking now is a good time to call that podiatrist I never heard back from.

Things on the food front are going well. I'm finding that I'm making better choices and that's getting easier. I've eaten lunch at home everyday so far this week (does it matter that three out of the four days I've had a turkey burger?). I'm thinking before I put things in my mouth. I'm talking to myself (really to myself, not out loud to myself) as I'm eating, checking in to see if I really want or need what I'm putting in my mouth. And I'm reflecting on things that were said in my therapy or nutritionist appointments.

In the vein of being honest with myself, I think I need to kick things up a notch if I'm really going to be losing weight. It's good that I'm starting to say no to myself, but I know I have to do that more often. And it wouldn't hurt to start lifting some weights or doing some sit-ups and push-ups.

For now though, I'm in a good place and feeling good about where I'm going.


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