Daily Training 6/30/2008

According to the email I received this morning, here was the workout scheduled for me:

Instructions:
Warm up by walking for 5 minutes at an easy pace to gradually increase circulation to working muscles, heart and breathing rates. For your workout, repeat these steps 7times: Run at a comfortable pace for 3 minutes, followed by walking at a brisk pace for 2 minutes. Cool down by walking for 5 minutes at an easy pace after the workout to gradually bring your heart rate and breathing back to normal levels.

My actual workout was just as it was supposed to be, except the last 3 minute run was more like 2 minutes and 20 seconds.

I'm feeling hot, sweaty and really great about getting in the workout. Not to mention it's f'n gorgeous out. I really love this time of the day. It's great to see so many people outside and exercising. I love that about Santa Monica. It was the kind of run Susannah (who is in Egypt) would have loved. As I rounded the corner and ran along Ocean Ave. you could see the ocean and the pier perfectly. Just an all around gorgeous evening.

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It's Now or Never

Tonight I purchased a marathon training program. I chose the 20-week run/walk beginner program and I'm feeling really great about it. I can't even begin to convey what a huge sense of relief I'm feeling. In looking initially at the training, it actually looks manageable and like I can complete any workout that I do. It's a run/walk combo for the first few weeks and honestly I'm not thinking much beyond that.

A huge part of me feels like I haven't been entirely realistic about the training approach that I took initially. I tend to try and overlook my weight and how difficult that makes almost any activity that I do. And since I haven't been doing a very good job at sticking to any sort of a weight loss plan, I figured I needed to readjust my training plan. That's not to say that I'm not focused on my weight loss efforts, because I am, or should I say will be, but it does mean that I can breath a little easier now that I have a marathon training plan that truly makes sense for me and where I'm at.

A commitment that I do make is to use my blog more. To report on my workouts after each one. And to just be more present. After all, I will have a lot to report on as my training once and for all kicks into high gear!

More tomorrow after my first workout on the new training plan.

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Four Month Countdown

Yep, four more months until the Dublin Marathon. I wish I could say I'm feeling good about that, but the truth is my stomach is in knots about the four month countdown.

The good news is the marathon training officially begins. The running program I've decided to go with is 16 weeks long. The bad news is that I haven't gone for a run in just over a month now. So getting back into running is going to be...interesting.

It's now or...now, right?

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Missing You, Dad

I love you and miss you every single day.

Love,
Molly

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Check Out and Chill Out

I've had an incredibly relaxing time on the east coast. I'm ready to go home, but this time away has provided me with a great opportunity to to check out and chill out. I haven't done any running while I've been here. Even though it's been insanely hot and humid with record highs, if I was being honest with myself, I don't think I'd have run anyway.

I'm having another one of those checking out moments where I'm checking out and eating poorly and not working out. This one is lasting longer than I'd prefer. I think tomorrow it will be two weeks since my last run. But I don't feel terrible about it. I was talking with my friend Nikee and she said maybe my body needed the break. I don't know enough about my body to know when it actually needs a break. I mean I do, but, I think I'm still to easily persuaded just because. But I do think the break is doing good things for me.

The wedding I attended in Maine was absolutely amazing. It was beautiful and relaxing and peaceful. Here are a few of my favorite pictures of where I was:







I sat out by the water. I got bitten by mosquitoes. I thought about my father. I saw a shooting star. I ate ice cream. I picked up a hitchhiker (I won't be doing that again). I ate lobster. I ate a lobster roll. I've had more Dunkin Donuts hot chocolate than I know what to do with. I stayed up late, I woke up late.

I know it's a really tiny thing, but I had so much fun eating the ice cream cone. I can't remember the last time I had to race to eat the ice cream on top of the cone so it wouldn't melt all over my hand. Things like this remind me of growing up in New Hampshire and it's really not something that I can remember experiencing during my time in Los Angeles.



One of my most favorite things about this trip is how much time I got to spend with some of my most favorite people that I don't get to see as much as I'd like. I had such a fun time with Julio, Lindsay, Mark, Leah, John, Marisa. I laughed a ton and just felt so happy. I really have loved the time I've gotten to spend with everyone.







The fact that I got to be one of the few among Katie Grant and Jordan's wedding guest was the topping on the cake (or the blueberry pie in this case). Jordan and Katie Grand did a wonderful job at putting on a kick ass party and wedding that was truly them and so unique to who they both are. Their wedding ceremony was touching and loving and I felt so honored to be there.









At the end of all this, I hope to go back feeling as relaxed and centered as I did when this picture was taken.

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Funky Town

I'm trying to shake my funk, but I'm not being very successful. While I had a great trip with my mom, it kicked off a week long food fest which I'm also having a hard time shaking. On top of that, I only ran once last week and this morning all I could muster up was a 2-mile run.

Yesterday I woke up in a foul foul mood. When I don't eat well or treat my body well, it absolutely affects my mood. So that's been fun to deal with. As a result, I committed to doing at least one thing to make me feel better. Luckily I managed to do lots of things that made me feel better including getting a manicure, pedicure and waxed. I also went to Double W (up .8 lbs in two weeks, I'm not complaining) and I went to Trader Joe's. (And bought a bunch of food that I haven't event touched yet).

I decided to go to Double W because I haven't given up on this. And I knew it would have to make me feel better. I arrived late and ended up getting a seat practically out the door away from everyone else. I couldn't help but think as I sat on the outside of the meeting, that it was representative of how I've felt about my attitude and approach towards Double W- I have very much felt like I'm sitting on the outside looking in. When I absolutely know that in order to make this work, I cannot be an outsider.

I'm going away tomorrow for almost a week. One of my favorite people in the world is getting married in Maine and I'm honored to be among the very few wedding guests. I also get the chance to see some of the people I've missed the most since moving to the west coast. Although I hate being away from my home, I am looking forward to the space and change of scenery. I'm hoping that the time away will provide me with a good opportunity to get my head back in the game.

In the past three weeks I've gained 1.6 lbs. When I weighed in for Double W my second week, I was definitely bummed that I gained "a whisper" but I was having a hard time with all the activity I was doing and didn't eat all my food points. So I knew I had some adjusting I needed to do. The following week was Memorial Day, so I skipped weighing in entirely. And then knew that no matter how poorly I ate the previous week, going to weigh myself yesterday would make me feel better in some way.

I wish this wasn't so hard. Part of what's bumming me out about all of this too is that I don't feel like I can talk with Steve about this. We always end up arguing because I can't ever articulate what I need or want from him, other than for him to not come across as judgmental. When I told him I wasn't feeling that great about myself, his first response was, "Oh, I wonder why." Totally not helpful. Then we go back and forth about how I want him to say stuff sometimes, but not others and then we just don't talk about it, or anything, and it's just a shitty feeling on top of an already shitty feeling.

I told you, funky town.

Here's what I know. I'm running that f'n marathon no matter what. I can and will do this weight loss thing. I'm not giving up, I'm just going through a rough patch. And everyday I will just work and work until I get this right.

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