...barely. But I'm here. As of last night, I had already logged in 40 hours of work. I knew I'd be busy with work, but not this busy! (Thanks to my work partner in crime Tif, otherwise I'd have already worked about 80 hours).
Anyway, still on board with the training- ran two miles last night and it felt good. It's nice that the running is feeling better. And overall I'm feeling okay.
Just praying I don't get sick with the flu like Steve.
More later!
I just bought my ticket to Ireland!
Feeling more and more real and I'm loving it.
And, PS, it was only 40,000 miles. I'm shocked- and stoked!
I ran the race this morning and I'm so happy to say that I accomplished both of the goals I set out to! I ran the entire race (although at times it was super slow) and I bet my race last race time by three minutes- unofficially. I still haven't seen the "official" results online, but from what I could tell when I crossed the finish line.
I haven't run three miles since...2000 maybe even farther back. I haven't run for 38+ minutes in I don't know how long. But what I do know is that I feel really great about the race.
The part of me that is used to putting myself down and criticizing everything I do, wants to focus on the fact that running "only three miles" (in comparison to 26.2) was difficult and that it took me a really long time. But I say screw you.
I'm proud of myself for running the whole race. I'm proud of myself for not stopping when I absolutely wanted to. I'm proud of myself for sticking with my marathon training. I'm proud of myself for seeing such great progress since the last race I ran on 10/21. During my last race, I was only able to run a mile before I started the walking/running thing.
Some highlights of the race (besides what I mentioned above):
1. Boges, Jena, Steve & Clancy cheering me on. I saw Boges & Jena twice! And they single handedly helped make sure I ran the whole thing by being in a great location along the Venice boardwalk at the end.
2. An amazing morning, chilly and cool, but beautiful blue skies and crisp ocean views for almost the last half of the race.
3. Getting cheered on by some of the regular crackheads of Venice. Seriously put a smile on my face when I saw two homeless people standing along the race course (Ocean Front Walk or something like that) saying "You look good" and "Keep going." It still makes me smile just thinking about it!
4. Doing the race with my friend Cyrena who kicked some serious ass!
5. Finishing!
Cyrena and I have already decided on our next 5k which will be in conjunction with the LA Marathon. Although I'm not crazy about getting into the madness that will be the LA Marathon, I am excited to be around that kind of energy!
I've had a few posts that I needed to catch-up on. So if you're visiting, and you've already stopped by this week, be sure to scroll down to see posts that I started earlier in the week and just now finished.
I'm out.
Tomorrow I'm running in the Santa Monica/Venice Christmas Run with my friend Cyrena. I'm excited to run another race. I have two goals this time around- to run the whole thing and to beat my time from my first 5k. I haven't run three miles in I don't know how long. The cool thing is that during my last race, the most I had ever run leading up to that for my training was a mile. This time around, I know I can run two miles, and I've done that about four or five times now. And I'm scheduled to run my first three mile run tomorrow according to the training schedule that Hal put together for me. So...I'm hopeful!
The biggest thing I'm annoyed with right now is that I procrastinated so much on getting a new sports bra that when I went to Lucy today to get one, they kindly informed me they're not selling them in their stores anymore because they "didn't do anything for them." It's frustrating because I really needed/wanted to get one before this race. I feel like one of the biggest challenges I have with my running is that my sports bra feels like it's cutting off my breathing. I feel like endurance wise I could keep going, my legs aren't tired or anything like that, it's just that I almost feel like I'm gasping for air. Anyone out there reading this, is this normal? Do YOU think it's because of my sports bra or what? I try to consciously work on my breathing, so I really don't think it's because I don't know how to breathe. Which is why I really thought I needed a new sportsbra. The other reason it's frustrating that Lucy decided not to carry bras in their stores anymore is because I obviously need to try it on to see if it's going to work for me or not. So now I have to go ahead and place the order online and see if I'm lucky.
I know I know, if this is my biggest problem in life, I'm in good shape and really have no reason to complain. I'm just saying, I'm annoyed.
In good news though, besides the fact that I'm running in another race tomorrow, I ran a mile last night and I think it was the fastest mile I've ran since I started training. 11:54. I'll take what I can get people. I'm fighting the urge right now to be hard on myself for how long it takes me to run a mile, but I'm not giving in. It takes time. I'm getting out there and putting in the distance. I have to go easy on myself.
This is a long process.
I'll report back tomorrow after the race!
I started to feel a bit like I was slacking this week. I missed a workout, which is the first time that has happened since I started training over a month ago. Hey, missing only one workout in over a month really isn't that bad. When I think about it in those terms, I feel much better about it.
But, I also was feeling very unmotivated to get out for a run today. Luckily my friend Jigga called to say she was staying at the Loews hotel here in Santa Monica. So it was perfect, I decided I'd walk to the end of Montana and then get my one mile run in by running along Ocean Blvd. It was just the motivation I needed.
The run itself was mostly great...just the persistent sports bra problem I've been talking about where I feel like it's preventing me from breathing properly. Otherwise, it was a good run. I saw two other women running in front of me and I did my best to try and stay with them. It was good to keep me going and to try and pick up and keep a steady pace. And it obviously worked since I had my best one mile time since I started training. Which felt like progress.
So the moral of my post is I missed one run. I've missed just one run since I started training on November 1st. And I'm okay with that.
About 10 years ago, I was introduced to Angel Cards by a good friend of mine at the time. She was spiritual and talked about things like yoga and meditation long before I ever knew anything about them or long before it was any sort of a trend. So when she gave me angel cards, I really didn't think that much about them. I used them and liked them, but I didn't think about the power of angel cards until my own mother was diagnosed with breast cancer.
The morning before she went in for her first operation in January of 1999, I had her pick one. The idea behind the angel cards is that they're supposed to help you along your journey- whatever that may be. You sit quietly and think about something that's in question. And when you're good and ready, you pick an angel card. The word on the card is supposed to help guide you in the question/situation/challenge at hand. My mom's angel card that morning, strength. I've never forgotten that and how it helped put my mom's tangled nerves at ease just a little bit. And ever since then, I've turned to the angel cards and I've introduced them to many of my friends. There's power in those angel cards for sure. They help provide this nice moment for pause and reflection in a mostly chaotic and far too fast paced world.
The angel cards have been changed over the years; they've added more and now there's an accompanying book. The book is interesting only because it provides you with a completely different definition of what you would think to be a simple word. I like the alternative of the Angel Card's definition because it is certainly more refined than my own! Along with the evolution of the cards themselves, there has also been an evolution to the website and the company which produces these things of wonderment and beauty.
I now get a newsletter in my inbox at the beginning of each month and it provides me with an Angel card for the month. To be honest, I haven't really focused too much on this in the past, but the December angel has certainly struck a chord with me. If you care to read it, you can do so here.
The Angel for December is Obedience. And the accompanying description says: What part of you is in charge? Be mindful of your inner knowing. Follow your deepest impulse with discipline and decisiveness.
I made a decision about a month ago to stop seeing my therapist and to start seeing my nutritionist more. So I really have been focusing more on making healthful food choices and just overall paying more attention to what I'm putting in my mouth and when and why. Reading this reminds me a lot of some of the food things I've been discovering about myself. Like I often choose to eat things just because I can. Because no one can tell me not to. Because I want to. Because why not. All really immature reasons to eat something, and really foolish ways to base a decision on what to put into my mouth.
There's definitely this little girl inside of me who wants to be the one who gets to call the shots because she feels like she never was able to. Whatever. I know it sounds lame, but it's the truth. I eat things because I never felt like I could when I was younger. So it's like I'm making up for lost time. When I got the December Angel newsletter and I saw the line that asks "what part of you is in charge?" it certainly made me stop and think. Often times, when I am making decisions of what to eat, and why, it's not from me, it's from the little girl who wants it just because. I'm consciously trying to think about that more.
My nutritionist asked me recently how long I was going to let my mouth always make the decisions about what I get to eat. Like at what point does my body, my mind, my stomach get to start calling the shots? I negotiate with myself all the time of what I should and shouldn't eat and I believe the point of all this work I'm doing is to get to the point where my mouth and that little girl isn't running the show.
Because of the message from the Obedience angel, before I put something in my mouth I will ask myself what part of me is in charge. And if I am acting on an impulse, I'm going to think it through with discipline and decisiveness.
A good friend (and former co-worker) sent this to me and it helped remind me why it's so good to tell other people what you're doing. Support can come in so many different ways and really help you along...just like this did for me!
"Running is a big question mark that's there each and every day. It asks you, 'Are you going to be a wimp or are you going to be strong today?'"
- Peter Maher, Irish-Canadian Olympian and sub-2:12 marathoner
She then said, "i know that no matter how far you run this week, the fact that you are out there doing it makes you STRONG. stay strong."
So smart that one...and helpful!
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