Monday, July 30, 2007

What was that all about?

It's been too long since my last post. In the past few days I've slipped up. I thought about lying to myself- pretending that it never happened- but I figured that wouldn't really get me anywhere, now would it? Plus, I'm really trying to do this right this time and pretending that I didn't use and abuse food and my body from Thursday up until late last night would be dumb.

So here's what happened. I was cranky, sleep deprived, hungry, exhausted, emotionally drained, stressed and anxious. Work was (is) driving me nuts. I wasn't getting enough sleep. I wasn't working out. I wasn't taking care of my self in any sense of the word. And I let myself eat poorly for no good reason other than "because." Which when I'm in a good place (not tired, cranky, stressed, etc.) is not a good enough reason to eat something. But I did just that for almost every meal from Thursday until Sunday. I had Panda Express, pizza, a big fat burger from The Counter, a donut and a half from Krispy Kreme...I just let myself go.

I knew there was going to be an end in sight. I went shopping at Trader Joe's yesterday and then woke up this morning resolved to eat well, treat my body better and exercise. And I'm happy and very relieved to say that I did all of those things. I had three great meals and ate based on what my body needed (and at this point craved)- vegetables, protein, vegetables...yum. I also had my first "Molly Night" in a very very long time. I didn't hang out with anyone, I didn't call anyone, I just stayed in, had dinner by myself, sat on the couch and watched TV and then got up and went for a run. It all felt good.

I was out of control last week and the interesting thing is when all was said and done, I didn't feel like I was missing out on anything. In fact, I had a burger last night and it was just okay. I mean the burger itself was great, but I just wasn't that into it. It helped me see that most of the time when I eat for emotional reasons, it really has very little to do with the food.

More about this later. It's past my bedtime and I'm crashing.

In happier news...congratulations to one of my best friends in this entire world who got engaged last Wednesday. I could not be happier for you and your fiance!! You are going to be a wonderful wife and mother. You deserve all the happiness that comes your way.


Anonymous,  August 27, 2007 at 11:14 AM  

Thanks Molly! I love you, thanks for being there for me and for celebrating in our happiness.

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