Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Don't Limit Yourself

Today I learned an important lesson. I walked into yoga class for the first time in about two weeks, all excited to see MI, my friend/yoga teacher, only to find out that she wasn't teaching today. Someone named Claire was filling in for her. I'm not gonna lie, I was a little panicked about the prospect of doing yoga with someone new. I like my class with MI. I feel comfortable with her and feel a special connecttion since we met at a support group when our father's passed away. And I haven't really branched out that much in terms of trying new classes. So I sat there contemplating what I was going to do.

Should I leave? Would I like it? Would it be different? In trying to quiet my brain, I found myself saying (yes, to myself), "Be open Molly. Try it. This could be good. Don't judge. Take deep breaths."

Not even a minute into the class, I knew this was going to be different. Claire started us off with a handful of deep breaths. Only when we exhaled, she wanted us to sigh and to release all the tension and stress by having audible sounds come out of our mouths. So we sounded weird. And I didn't like it. It was different for me and I wasn't really into it. I did realize that I didn't have to do it that way, that I could do it the way that I wanted, the way I always have.

For another 30 minutes or so, I sat there talking myself through not judging, being in the moment, focusing on the movement, thanking myself for being there, for taking the time during the middle of the day to take care of my body and then I had this shift.

I realized that Claire wasn't so bad. She wasn't who I was used to, but the important thing was that I was getting a great workout and I was feeling great about myself and great about what I was doing for me and my body. In regards to yoga, for me, it's about showing up and doing it. So does it always matter who I'm doing it with?

The conclusion I came to was that no, it doesn't matter. I've been limiting myself since the beginning of the year by only going to classes that are led by the one person I thought I felt comfortable with. There are tons of classes that I can attend throughout the week and the weekend for that matter. And if I start to open myself up to the possibility of learning with other people, I can accomplish a lot more!


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